IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisement ? What measures can be taken to protect them ?

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Nowadays , many people face
numerouse
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numerous
 advertisements
of
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for
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products
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 from many companies.These advertisements have a huge
impacts
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impact
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 on
the
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apply
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consumers
however
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,
elevate
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elevating
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the
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apply
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awareness
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 and knowledge about consuming
one
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is one
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 of the major measures to be taken. At the onset ,advertising has a significant role
into
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in
show examples
nowadays
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today
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 world, especially with
spread
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the spread
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 of social media platforms connecting with
number
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a number
the number
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 of users who
influenced
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are influenced
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 easily by any
iteam
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item
team
in addition
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 to
companies
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companies'
company's
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 ability to show
the
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apply
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products
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 in different places
at
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and at
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 the same time using many applications and influencers for advertising .
For instance
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 ,
recent
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a recent
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 study found that the average consuming percentage of
the
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apply
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individuals
dramaticly
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dramatically
 increased during the past few years
due to
Linking Words
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the wide
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wide spread
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widespread
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 of social media and
another
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other
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 platforms.
On the other hand
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 ,one of the main measures
should
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that should
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 be taken
are
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is
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elevate
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to elevate
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 the
awareness
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge of
the
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apply
show examples
individuals about consuming progress .
In addition
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 ,
the
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they
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 distinguish between the need and the desire for
products
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 since many
advertising
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advertisements
show examples
contribute
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contributes
show examples
into
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to
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enhanceing
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enhancing
 the desire to have
such
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 an
iteam
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item
 without the necessity to have it by the manipulation of the consumer choices .
For example
Linking Words
, many
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institutions
inistitutions
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institutions
 provide educational programs and
awareness
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Correct your spelling
campaigns
camaigns
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campaigns
 to help people recognize the
manuplative
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manipulative
 advertising In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the market competition is intense with many similar
products
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 and
the
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apply
show examples
huge impacts on
the
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apply
show examples
individuals , the need to increase the
awareness
Use synonyms
 of consumer usage
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significantly reflects
positivly
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positively
 on their
life
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lives
show examples
 financially and mentally.

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. While the essay mentions a study, providing more detailed data or additional examples could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Try to offer a more complete response to the question. The essay needs to address how consumers are influenced by advertisements more directly and explore more measures to protect them.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be improved by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a thought-provoking remark about the importance of consumer awareness.
task achievement
The essay recognizes the significant influence of social media and influencers, which is a relevant and pertinent observation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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