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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

SOME SCHOOL LEAVERS TEND TO GO TRAVELLING OR WORK A PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE GOING TO UNIVERSITY. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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It is very common these days that learners prefer to go for travel or work before going back to
university
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. I think
this
Linking Words
 tendency has more benefits than drawbacks, in upcoming paragraphs
i
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I
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 will be discussing both. To start with, nobody can deny the fact that getting some break from studying after finishing school could bring more benefits to
university
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 goers, as it not only gives them opportunities
of applying
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to apply
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 knowledge in real life situations whatever they have learned through their school times but it
also
Linking Words
 rejuvenates their minds and making them able to refocus on their
university
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studies
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. Another benefit of different travelling experiences is that they could have enough time to explore which subject or course they should opt for related to their future career and they can come to know in which fields they are more likely to get employment after
university
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.
Last
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, benefits but not least is providing
students
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 time to earn money for their higher courses as not all of the
students
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 have the support of their parents and they have to pay tuition fees on their own. Even though giving a break from
studies
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 before starting
university
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 could be more fruitful for
students
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, there might be some drawbacks as well. As we can see, if
students
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 leave their
studies
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, they might face some challenges to going back to college and not feel like studying after a long period of gap as they might feel isolated from their
studies
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. To exemplify, one of my friends, went off school for 1 year and she had to suffer a lot to develop habits of studying and refocusing.
To conclude
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,
i
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I
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 would say that a break is necessary for apprentices before starting their
university
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 to increase focus, choose courses suitable for career plans and make some money for their extravagances.

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task response
Try to further develop your main points with more specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and provide a clearer illustration of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using more linking words or phrases. This will enhance readability and coherence throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point is clearly and succinctly presented, avoiding unnecessary repetition. This will help to make your ideas more comprehensive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structural framework.
task response
You have successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a break before university.
coherence cohesion
Your points are well-supported with logical reasoning, helping to convey your perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical life experiences
  • real-world experiences
  • personal growth
  • independence
  • academic performance
  • recharge
  • refocus
  • career exploration
  • academic momentum
  • financial implications
  • unpaid internships
  • professionally
  • self-esteem
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