Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different age and culture together . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Music

Use synonyms

is a source of entertainment that can gather

people

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from different nations and ages closely. In fact, I strongly agree with those who feel that

music

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can unite

people

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from

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show examples

various ages and cultures for two main reasons.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

music

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influences

human's

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human

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emotions because listening to good lyrics or instrumental

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

can create feelings of happiness and pleasure. By experiencing and sharing

the

Correct article usage

apply

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positive feelings together,

people

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can bond easily.

For example

Linking Words

, when a parent sings a lullaby for their baby, both of them will feel connected and connected emotionally.

Furthermore

Linking Words

people

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can create friendships based on their

music

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preferences because they find it easier when they have something in common. To illustrate,

Kpop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

fans will have a gathering to only talk about the artist they like, despite their ages and cultures.

Moreover

Linking Words

, traditional

music

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helps

people

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to connect with a foreign culture.

By wanting

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Wanting

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to know more about the history behind one's traditional

music

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will open the opportunity to create new friends and community.

For instance

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, when

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went to an Indian wedding,

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ended up making a friendship with the Indian bride's sister because I asked the meaning of the song that was being played during the

ceremorny

Correct your spelling

ceremony

. Not only I

gained

Wrong verb form

gain

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new information about other

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

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, but

also

Linking Words

I created meaningful

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

. In conclusion,

song

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songs

show examples

can help

people

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to expand their networks and

also

Linking Words

knowledge.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I remain fully convinced that

music

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music

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can bring

people

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together, regardless

their

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of their

show examples

backgrounds

pwatootieWed Jan 29 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt directly and clearly. You have done well in answering the main question about how music can unite people from different ages and cultures. However, adding a bit more detail or examples from different cultures could strengthen your response further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure that the transition between paragraphs flows naturally to maintain coherence and make it easier for the reader to follow your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Look out for minor grammatical errors and typo mistakes, like 'musics' which should be 'music' and 'ceremorny' which should be 'ceremony'. Such errors don't drastically affect your score but correcting them can make your writing appear more polished.

introduction conclusion present

You have excellently introduced and concluded the essay, reinforcing the main argument and summarizing your key points.

supported main points

The examples provided, such as a parent singing a lullaby and your personal experience at an Indian wedding, effectively support your arguments and show different contexts where music unites people.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural understanding
Universal language
Linguistic barriers
Social gatherings
Mutual respect
Shared experience
Generational gap
Common ground
Inclusivity
Diversity
Artistic collaboration
Emotional connection
Transcend
Appreciation
Foster unity

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different age and culture together . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Word Count

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