In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many nations, owning a home is considered more important than renting.
This
Linking Words
is particularly beneficial for
families
Use synonyms
with
children
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, for individuals with low-income jobs, purchasing a home can be a difficult and unattainable goal. It can be difficult for
families
Use synonyms
with
children
Use synonyms
to live in a rented apartment.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
should be raised in
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
environment. Owning a flat offers various benefits for
children
Use synonyms
’s future. If a family has an infant aged 1-2 , the financial
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
will likely fall on one person, as the other will need to stay home to care
after
Change preposition
for
show examples
the baby.
For example
Linking Words
, in Germany, the number of individuals owning an apartment has increased over the years, with 60% being
families
Use synonyms
with
children
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people with
low paying
Add a hyphen
low-paying
show examples
jobs often struggle to afford rent. Even though they work hard, it can still take more than ten years to earn enough money to buy a flat.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Australia , 30% of citizens aged 25-35 live in leased properties,
while
Linking Words
those aged 45-65 are more likely to be homeowners. In
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
while
Linking Words
owning a house provides stability and
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
benefits for
families
Use synonyms
with
children
Use synonyms
, financial challenges make it difficult for many people, especially those with low incomes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed for a comprehensive understanding.
other
Revise for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'responsibility' and 'conclusion'.
organization
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the topic.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as statistics from Germany and Australia, which help illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow with distinct paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: