'Prevention is better than cure''. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invets in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

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Nowadays, people around the world are suffering from the widespread prevalence of
diseases
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, which has negatively affected people`s well-being.
Therefore
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, some people argue that more
money
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should be spent on preventive
measures
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instead
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of researching and curing
diseases
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. In my view, precautious measurements could decrease the infestation of
diseases
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,
however
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, investing
money
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in inventing treatments for severe
diseases
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is
also
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crucial. Preventative
measures
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play a pivotal role in eliminating the spread of infections
,
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It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because it helps improve the immune system to be able to fight
diseases
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.
Moreover
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, preventative procedures are easy and low-budget compared to the
development
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of treatments .
For example
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, breast Cancer early diagnosis has proved to be very effective in treating
such
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a serious disease.
Therefore
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, many campaigns around the world have been launched to encourage women for Cancer check-ups, which have a significant impact on preventing the spread of
this
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severe disease.
Accordingly
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, it is substantial that governments invest
money
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in precautionary
measures
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,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as regular check-ups and healthy lifestyle awareness campaigns because it helps in controlling infections.
Although
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precautionary procedures are very effective, it is an undeniable fact that they are not enough to control the spread of infections. Research and
development
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of treatments are
also
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very important, particularly for chronic and serious
diseases
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,
such
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as Diabetes, Alzheimer’s, HIV and Cancer. Research and
development
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of medicines are crucial and require investment, because these serious
diseases
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, unfortunately, can not be treated only with preventative
measures
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but with effective medications. In conclusion, both preventative
measures
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and the
development
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of medications are equally essential, and governments should invest more
money
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in them. It is true that “Prevention is better than cure”,
nevertheless
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, saving the lives of millions is
also
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vital, as there are many people worldwide who are suffering from severe
diseases
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which threaten their lives.

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task response
Ensure careful proofreading to eliminate minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'precautious' instead of 'precautionary'.
task response
Provide a more balanced argument by also presenting counterarguments or alternative perspectives to strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
Make smoother transitions between points by using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the importance of both prevention and treatment.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
task response
The essay effectively uses examples such as breast cancer early diagnosis to support the argument for preventative measures.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the arguments and restates the main viewpoint.
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