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Writing Samples
Band 7

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pie charts show the percentages of online
sales
Use synonyms
 in various retail sectors in Canada for the years 2005 and 2010. In conclusion, percentages of online
sales
Use synonyms
 in each sector changed over the five years. In 2005, Electronics and appliances had the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 compared to the other sectors, accounting for 35% of total
sales
Use synonyms
. The next is the food and beverages, which reached 22% of
sales
Use synonyms
. The lowest was video games, which reached 18%. In 2010, the trends in
sales
Use synonyms
 changed quite
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
, especially in food and beverages.
This
Linking Words
 sector had the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2010, accounting for 32% of total
sales
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Electronics and appliances became the second highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in that year, which experienced
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
% decline from 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, video games experienced
sales
Use synonyms
 growth and became the 3rd highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, home furnishings became the sector with
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
, reaching 15%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accounted for
  • notable decrease
  • significant increase
  • steady growth
  • modest increase
  • sharp decline
  • percentage of online sales
  • retail sectors
  • pie charts
  • comparison
  • over the five-year period
  • largest share
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