The use of cell phones (mobiles phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, mobile

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have become an essential tool in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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Rephrase

apply

This phrase may be negated incorrectly.

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matter for business or personal.

Although

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it does bring

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

The word convenient doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for us

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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also

Linking Words

remain

Change the verb form

remains

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb remain are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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some

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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when over usage of mobile

Use synonyms

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Change the capitalization

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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am going to

analysis

Replace the word

analyse

The word analysis doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

It seems that advantage may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and disadvantages of using mobile

Use synonyms

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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First,

Linking Words

mobile

Use synonyms

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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bring us convenience when comes to contact with people regardless

how

Change preposition

of how

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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far they are. For

businessman

Fix the agreement mistake

businessmen

It seems that businessman may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, they can close a business deal by using the mobile

phone

Use synonyms

. It

Change the verb form

does

It appears that the subject pronoun It and the verb do are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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help them save a lot of

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. For personal, we can contact

with

Change preposition

apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

It seems that friend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and family easily when we are abroad by sending

picture

Fix the agreement mistake

pictures

It seems that picture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

It seems that message may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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chiewwing_1210Wed Jan 29 2025

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coherence cohesion

Enhance your essay structure by clearly delineating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. A well-defined conclusion that summarizes key points will reinforce your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and experiences to strengthen your arguments. Examples from personal or observed situations can make your points more relatable and concrete.

task achievement

Work on grammatical accuracy and paragraph completeness. Correcting minor mistakes and completing your thoughts will improve clarity and comprehension.

task achievement

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone usage, which is aligned with the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

The ideas presented are logically organized, making it relatively easy to follow the progression from one point to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

113 words

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More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?