Some people think that what children watch on television will influence their behavior. Others think that the time they watch television influences their behavior most .Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is

Correct pronoun usage

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argued that what

kids

Use synonyms

watch on

television

Use synonyms

effect

Correct your spelling

affects

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their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

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believe

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

time

Use synonyms

effects

Replace the word

affects

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children more .There is no doubt that

Use synonyms

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

spend

Use synonyms

television

Change preposition

on television

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effect

Use synonyms

both

pysical

Correct your spelling

physical

and psychological aspects of their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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, I think the type of content they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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see significantly

Use synonyms

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

their mindset and morals . At the onset, the

hours

Use synonyms

kids

Use synonyms

spend watching

television

Use synonyms

effecting

Replace the word

affecting

show examples

their lives .The more

hours

Use synonyms

kids

Use synonyms

spend on

Use synonyms

the less physical action and

that

Linking Words

Verb problem

apply

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lead

Replace the word

leads

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to less interaction with the surrounding environments .

Moreover

Linking Words

that

Linking Words

is carry

Verb problem

causes

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the

chiled

Correct your spelling

child

to become more

introvert

Replace the word

introverted

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with low socializing skills.

In addition

Linking Words

, long watching

hours

Use synonyms

sometimes make the

kids

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live in

imaginary

Add an article

the imaginary

an imaginary

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world away from their reality .

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of children who watch

Use synonyms

decreased

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past few years ,there

Wrong verb form

has been

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no decline in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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unproper

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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due to

Linking Words

alternatives

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I think the contents of what they watch is the most significant factor .It has a huge

impacts

Correct the article-noun agreement

impact

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on their behavior

in addition

Linking Words

the

Change the word

their

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personal development and mind growth unless the parents

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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supervise what

appear

Change the verb form

appears

show examples

on the screen in front of their

child

Use synonyms

Since many

Correct word choice

Many

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cartoons and

Use synonyms

programs

contains

Change the verb form

contain

show examples

subliminal messages

whereas

Linking Words

the

child

Use synonyms

effects

Verb problem

is affected

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by them

unconsciousely

Correct your spelling

unconsciously

Furthermore

Linking Words

many

Replace the quantifier

much

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new

generationof

Correct your spelling

generation of

television

Use synonyms

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

parents view

Change preposition

show examples

the

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

channels and prevent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

harmful

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

to appear

Change preposition

from appearing

show examples

on the big screen. In conclusion ,both

time

Use synonyms

and the content of the

television

Use synonyms

will

Use synonyms

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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in different

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

Although

Linking Words

the

time

Use synonyms

spends on

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

watching

television

Use synonyms

will

interfer

Correct your spelling

interfere

with the

Use synonyms

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

reactions and interactions with people and things around , the quality of

programes

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

has the most significant effects on both mental and moral behaviors regardless

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

spending

hours

Use synonyms

Parent

Fix the agreement mistake

Parents

show examples

supervise

Wrong verb form

supervising

show examples

and

limite

Correct your spelling

limit

the watching

houres

Correct your spelling

hours

show examples

will positively

Use synonyms

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the

kids

Use synonyms

youmnamaher91Wed Jan 29 2025

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coherence cohesion

Work on structuring your essay logically, ensuring that ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to another. For example, use clear topic sentences and linking words to connect your points.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develops it fully. This will help in making your essay more comprehensible.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure your essay addresses all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Include more specific examples to support your points.

task achievement

Develop your ideas further to ensure clarity and depth in your discussion. More detailed examples and explanations will make your arguments stronger.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

complete response

You attempt to discuss both viewpoints of the topic, which is essential for a balanced essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Some people think that what children watch on television will influence their behavior. Others think that the time they watch television influences their behavior most .Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Only people over 18 must be allowed to use social media. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?

It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?