Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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Engaging in stimulating challenges can significantly enhance
children
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's concentration
skills
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. Participating in enjoyable
activities
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can foster the development of
children
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's
skills
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and creativity more effectively than reading alone. I strongly agree with
this
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viewpoint.
This
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essay will explore the reasons for
this
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in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, engaging in
such
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activities
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offers numerous benefits to young
children
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, including the development of fine motor
skills
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, eye-hand coordination, and cognitive abilities.
For example
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, solving puzzles helps them learn to recognize patterns, shapes, and colours, which enhances their cognitive
skills
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.
Moreover
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, these fun exercises
also
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help cultivate patience.
For instance
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,
while
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constructing a house with small wooden pieces, they may experience failure sometimes, but ultimately, they will likely succeed.
Furthermore
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, involving
children
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in arts and crafts
activities
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allows them to express their imagination through various forms of art. These types of
activities
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provide a safe outlet for
children
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to express their ideas and feelings.
This
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is crucial for their emotional development and
overall
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well-being.
For example
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, parents could organize a craft day where
children
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not only have the opportunity to bring their imaginations to life but
also
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share ideas, emotions, and feelings with their peers.
This
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will strengthen their friendships. In conclusion,
while
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enjoyable exercises can
also
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help improve their reading
skills
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, in my view, they primarily enhance other
skills
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such
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as motor
skills
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, coordination, and social interaction, among many others.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument with supported ideas throughout. To further enhance your task response, you could include more diverse examples to illustrate your points more vividly and provide a balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of reading too.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and cohesive, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly with the use of more linking words to guide the reader seamlessly through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is effective and clearly sets the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Each of your main points are well-supported with clear examples, making your argument persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without repeating them verbatim.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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