IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people join distance-learning programs (studys material, post, TV, İnternet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending collages or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

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A lot of humans take online programs on
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 and learn at home,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 the community believe that it is not
so
Correct word choice
as
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benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 as
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 classes. I actually consider the opposite. Using these programs is so useful for people who are working and do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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.
To begin
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 with, nowadays nearly every person has a
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
 job and
thisdaily
Correct your spelling
this daily
 work ends normally at 19:00. The places which provide classes do not have any lessons
at
Change preposition
in
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late
Correct article usage
the late
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 evening and night.
Furthermore
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, these types of individuals can study with the study pack whenever and wherever they want.
For example
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,
according to
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 a report published by Cambridge University in 2022, 60% of workers bought distance-learning programs to improve their skills.
In addition
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, going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 takes a lot of
time
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 and some people think
that is
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 a disadvantage
for
Change preposition
to
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traditional
Add an article
a traditional
the traditional
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 way
to study
Change preposition
of studying
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. The students can be stuck in traffic for a long
time
Use synonyms
 when they are on their way.
For instance
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, based on research conducted by the government of Türkiye in 2023, 50% of college students missed their lectures
due to
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 traffic and long ways from their houses. In conclusion, some society prefers to join virtual learning for its advantageous side and they educate themselves,
instead
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 of
the lost
Verb problem
wasting
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time
Use synonyms
 on roads. In my opinion, everyone should use the bright side of new technologies,
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital education is developing.

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the position you will discuss throughout the essay. This will provide a roadmap for the reader.
Task Response
Make sure the conclusion adequately restates your main points and offers a final thought on the topic, reinforcing your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve the flow of ideas, ensuring each paragraph leads logically to the next.
Task Response
Work on making your argument more explicit by clearly stating the benefits of distance learning over traditional methods in the introduction.
Task Response
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the data from Cambridge University and the Turkish government.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and reinforces your stance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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