Some argue that public health services should focus on treating the sick, while others think they should focus more on preventive measures. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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life is a public requirement.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that public medical
services
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should
focus
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on treating sickness, there is
also
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an argument that some
people
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consider public
health
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care
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should
focus
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more on prevention
measures
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.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both of view and express my opinion. On one hand,
people
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argue that public medical
services
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must
be treated
Wrong verb form
treat
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illnesses and
focus
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on the issues.
In other words
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, they think
health
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services
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should allocated for urgent cases.
In addition
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, hospitals and clinics provide life-saving treatment and emergency
care
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, which are significant in
patients
Change noun form
patients'
patient's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
For example
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,
survey
Add an article
a survey
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conducted in Yaman shows that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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government allocate big hospitals for emergency cases.
On the other hand
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, some individuals think that
health
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care
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should
focus
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more on educating
people
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about preventive
measures
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. It is
also
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possible to say that when
people
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edification about preventive
measures
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, they will learn how to protect themselves from diseases.
Moreover
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, the awareness of the illiterate elderly about diseases is increasing.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19
pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
show examples
Saudies
Health
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Care
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worked on educating individuals about preventive methods. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that public
health
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services
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should incorporate both curing diseases and preventive
measures
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equally.

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, make your ideas more comprehensive by adding related information and details that deepen your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to provide stronger evidence for your points. For example, mention actual preventive measures that can be implemented.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer connections between your points and ideas to increase coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, showing a fair understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health services
  • preventive measures
  • treating the sick
  • urgent needs
  • life-saving treatments
  • emergency care
  • advanced medical technology
  • specialized healthcare professionals
  • cutting-edge treatments
  • medical fields
  • immediate public health crises
  • pandemics
  • outbreaks
  • medical intervention
  • prevalence and incidence of diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • vaccinations
  • regular screenings
  • healthy lifestyles
  • quality of life
  • chronic diseases
  • health disparities
  • equitable health outcomes
  • underserved populations
  • balanced approach
  • population health
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