IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some human rights advocates believe there should be free migration throughout the world. What would be the result of anybody being able to go anywhere?

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Should
people
Use synonyms
 be allowed to migrate anywhere without restrictions?
While
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 it is said that it should be the fundamental right of
people
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 to migrate
in
Change preposition
to
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 different nations as it contributes to
foster
Wrong verb form
fostering
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 economic progress and better
support
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supporting
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underprevilieged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
people
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;
however
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, there are immense negative challenges which may be faced by native
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the positive and potential long-term consequences of unrestricted migration. The most significant positive aspects of unrestricted immigration can be related to economic growth, as it allows
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 to fill the labour shortages and address
skill
Correct article usage
the skill
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 gap. The more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 migrate, the lesser the skill gap between
sustainble
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sustainable
 industries, by offering
sustainble
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sustainable
 employment for
rewarding
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a rewarding
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 for low-income
people
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. Unless Canada or Germany offered a wide range of career options, there would be
lack
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a lack
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 of professionals in healthcare, skill jobs and
contruction
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construction
,
for instance
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.
Additionally
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, if low-income individuals
not
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do not
did not
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 migrate to developed nations in search of better career opportunities, it would be difficult for them to manage their daily expenses,
as a result
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, they might
strugglee
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struggle
 to afford basic necessities.
In contrast
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 to
Correct article usage
the nagtive
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nagtive
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negative
native
 side, it is important to note that, the more the country becomes diverse, the more cultural differences there will be which can generate cultural challenges. If
governements
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governments
 fail to regulate migration properly, social tensions may arise, distressing
governements
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governments
government
 to provide
adequate
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an adequate
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 amount of services. Unless governments implement strict regulations and limit the number of individuals to
entre
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enter
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,
people
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 will face more conflicts and
misunderstanding
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misunderstandings
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 of various cultural identities, leading to
create
Verb problem
apply
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confusion among native residents and immigrants. In conclusion,
alothough
Correct your spelling
although
 unrestricted immigration brings certain advantages, it is vital to think about the consequences of unlimited immigrants.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is clear linkage between paragraphs and ideas for smoother transitions. This will enhance the logical flow of essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and data to support your points more strongly.
task achievement
Elaborate more on the social and economic implications to cover the topic comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a well-structured introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main viewpoints effectively.
task achievement
You highlighted the key benefits related to economic growth and the challenges concerning cultural differences well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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