IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently spent the Christmas vacation at the home of your college friend who lives in a different city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -thank your friend and his family for letting you stay with them and celebrating the festival -mention what you liked about being there -ask your friend to be your guest sometime

Dear Hanna, I hope everything is going well and you are in good health, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to be thankful to you and your family
that
Change preposition
for
show examples
 allowing me to stay at your beautiful house and inviting me to enjoy and joyful with celebrate the festival, and
this
Linking Words
 is the first time for me to watching the spectacular event like that and I fell exhilarated with the local festival.
Besides
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, your family's really kind to me they are humble and I believe a lot of people around your resident I think be kind to your family
due to
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 fun and kindness to each other. To be honest, I like the local people wearing traditional clothes, all the community on the street are really handsome and pretty girls and
also
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 the local music is really fun I really enjoy it.
Additionally
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, I have a birthday barbecue next month.
That is
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 why, I want to you come and attend my party with my family, I believe you can enjoy my celebration because there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a growing number of traditional foods and seafood at my party and of course, you can
together with
Linking Words
 my brothers and my sisters. I am highly thankful that you spent time reading my letter, and I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Your best friend, Ajik

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the greeting to make it more friendly, for example: 'Dear Hanna,' without the comma in the beginning and a little more warmth in the closing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to keep one main idea or topic in each paragraph, it helps people to understand your letter better.
task achievement
Make sure to check for spelling and grammar mistakes, such as 'I fell exhilarated' should be 'I felt exhilarated.'
task achievement
You expressed gratitude clearly and mentioned your feelings about the festival, which is very nice!
task achievement
Inviting your friend to your birthday barbecue was a good way to connect and show that you value your friendship.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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