In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

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this

Linking Words

era of rising

moderenization

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modernization

modernisation

, a significant number of individuals contend that bribing educational institutes to accelerate the sale of their products by promoting

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

school

Use synonyms

children has more disadvantages rather than positive influence. It is crucial to consider the demerits of

this

Linking Words

trend. In my perspective, I ardently oppose the assertion and I will elucidate my view in

esuring

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ensuring

paragraphs

cluminating

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culminating

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a well-founded conclusion. To

substatiate

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substantiate

my alignment which is not in the favour of the

aforementional

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aforementioned

notion. I firmly hold the belief that good nutrition upholds

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

place in the cognitive and physical growth of the children.

By advertising

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Advertising

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

in the

school

Use synonyms

primesis

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premises

, it would

results

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result

show examples

in poor

nutritinal

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nutritional

value.

For instance

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, students having unhealthy eating habits are less likely to focus on their studies and

truned

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turn

out

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apply

show examples

to be lazy

whereas

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ones following

proper

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a proper

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nutritious diet would be able to perform well and achieve good grades in

acedemics

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academics

as well as

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in extra

curriculam

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curricular

curriculum

activities because they feel more

enegetic

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energetic

and concentrated.

Furthermore

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, students at

very

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a very

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early age tend to face health problems

such

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as obesity, poor gut health, breathing issues and so on. To

examplify

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exemplify

, packed foods have numerous

preservative

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preservatives

show examples

Correct word choice

and additative

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additative

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additive

additives

to increase the shelf life of the product which is very harmful for consumption and could

results

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result

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in allergies,

diseases

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and diseases

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. Expanding upon some of the other,

corraborating

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corroborating

collaborating

factor

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factors

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for my disagreement with the statement is

that

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

show examples

has

negative

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a negative

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impact on the environment as well. The

food

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is packed in plastic wrappers which are non-biodegradable.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

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children do not pay attention

while

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throwing the plastic wrappers after having their

food

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. They throw it on the streets and anywhere in

open

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the open

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and many animals who

accidently

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accidentally

eat those

plastics

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plastic

show examples

wrappers

results

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result

show examples

in adverse

condition

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conditions

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, for the

promotions

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promotion

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the

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apply

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unhealthy fast

food

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paying the

school

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authorities has many

disadvantage

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disadvantages

show examples

swhich

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which

outweigh the advantages of

this

Linking Words

trend. I am of the conviction that the

aformational

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informational

arguments strongly

bloaster

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blaster

bolster

persepective

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perspective

. the multifaceted nature of the industries looking

for making

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to make

show examples

profits anywhere possible requires careful

considerations

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consideration

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and after weighing the

evidance

Correct your spelling

evidence

, it becomes apparent that replacing fast

food

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items with healthy

food

Use synonyms

options in

school

Use synonyms

canteens and

mess

Fix the agreement mistake

messes

show examples

should be promoted is the most logical stance to adopt in the context of our ever-changing planet.

saroaekamal423Thu Jan 30 2025

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task achievement

In your introduction, you state your position but also mention a 'significant number of individuals' without clarifying your perspective clearly. Make it more specific and align it with the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'turned out more to be lazy,' 'cluminating'), which slightly hinders understanding. Proofreading for grammar and sentence structure will enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

While you have a logical progression, some transitions could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Conversely,' can enhance flow between paragraphs.

task achievement

Specific examples are provided, but using more varied and detailed examples can further substantiate your points. For instance, real-world statistics or studies can make arguments more compelling.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-structured essay that comprises an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, maintaining an academic format.

task achievement

Your essay covers different aspects of the topic: nutritional impact, health implications, and environmental concerns, providing a balanced view of the issue.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion ties back well to the introduction, reinforcing your viewpoint and suggesting a logical resolution (promoting healthy food).

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

386 words

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In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

Word Count

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV,vido games & other types of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think problem can be tackled?

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that it is the responsibility of first world nations to help other countries. Others, however, feel that these countries have their own problems and should help themselves first. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion