IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is beneficial Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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While
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 some argue that
tourism
Use synonyms
 threatens cultural heritage, others contend that it promotes cross-cultural understanding and economic benefits.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
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 essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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 both sides of
this
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 concept and
explained
Wrong verb form
explain
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 why
tourism
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 can have benefits on culture. On the one
hand
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hand,
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tourism
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 a significant factor
of
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in
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 every country, especially
that
Correct word choice
apply
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cities which are located in nearby
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
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 or ocean. Nowadays people allocate some of their earned money for
travellings
Correct your spelling
travelling
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, which shows how much
tourism
Use synonyms
 is developing.
Tourism
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 can have a positive impact on local cultures. When managed responsibly,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can promote cross-cultural understanding and appreciation, as visitors learn about and respect local customs and traditions.
For instance
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, in our
country
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country,
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 there are numerous
of
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apply
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places which are full of ancient buildings,
historical
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and historical
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 things,
such
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 as clothes, souvenirs and books.
Additionally
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,
tourism
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 can generate significant revenue for local economies, which can be used to preserve cultural heritage sites and support local artisans.
On the other hand
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, the increasing numbers of
travelers
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travellers
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 might be
reason
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the reason
a reason
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 for
destruction
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the destruction
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 of historic sites of that country.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 process might lead to the weakening of cultural identity, making it less meaningful for future generations.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of the younger generation being interested in their own culture, they may be
adapted
Wrong verb form
adapting
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 aspects
ofthe
Correct your spelling
of the
 culture of dress and speech of the tourists to their own. In conclusion,
in
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apply
show examples
this
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 essay
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
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 both sides of
this
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 trend in detail and because
of
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apply
show examples
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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 given above
explanied
Correct your spelling
explain
 why
tourism
Use synonyms
 is beneficial.

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clearer organization of paragraphs to enhance logical structure. Consider separating the introduction, body, and conclusion more distinctly.
task achievement
Present more specific examples when discussing the positive and negative impacts of tourism on culture to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each main idea is fully developed with sufficient explanations and examples for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces both perspectives on the impact of tourism on culture clearly and concludes with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is a good attempt to balance both sides of the argument before stating your viewpoint.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show an understanding of the issues.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural erosion
  • cultural homogenization
  • cultural heritage
  • mutual understanding
  • cultural diversity
  • preservation
  • economic incentive
  • revival
  • authenticity
  • over-commercialized
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