Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, most children are used to playing

smartphones

Change preposition

on smartphones

show examples

, and it can have a detrimental influence on them. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will be discussed

firstly

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about

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apply

show examples

how

mobilephones

Correct your spelling

mobile phones

may impact on children's behaviour,

then

Linking Words

added

Wrong verb form

add

show examples

why

teenagers

Use synonyms

waste a lot of

time

Use synonyms

on their mobile phones,

Linking Words

finally

Add a comma

finally,

show examples

it will be better for

teenagers

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if their

parents

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should

limid

Correct your spelling

limit

show examples

Use synonyms

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they spend on their

gagdets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

To begin

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with,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

many kinds are

agressif

Correct your spelling

aggressive

while

Linking Words

they play mobile games.

In addition

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it may be

reason

Add an article

the reason

a reason

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

suicide or

argue

Wrong verb form

arguing

show examples

with

parents

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While

Linking Words

blood

use

Change the verb form

uses

show examples

Add an article

a smartphone

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

, they are getting more and more

agressif

Correct your spelling

aggressive

Moreover

Linking Words

, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

happens all of the

time

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, and it has

terrible

Correct article usage

a terrible

show examples

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

their

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on their

show examples

phychology

Correct your spelling

psychology

For example

Linking Words

, in 2010, in Russia, children, who

dispute

Wrong verb form

had disputes

show examples

with

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

, are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased

Change preposition

by more

show examples

than 50%, and the main problem is mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

Teenagers

Use synonyms

prefer to waste their

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing games and watching videos which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

mostly meaningless.

However

Linking Words

, it takes lots of

time

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that they can use

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

better in other aspects like education. If

teenagers

Use synonyms

start less spending on mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, they will get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high

performans

Correct your spelling

performance

in education or sport.

For instance

Linking Words

, kids do not like reading books because they waste their

time

Use synonyms

on playing smartphones. That's why book readers are decreasing every year. In conclusion, smartphones

one

Add a missing verb

are one

show examples

of the bad

addiction

Fix the agreement mistake

addictions

show examples

that

instead

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of increasing,

redusing

Correct your spelling

reducing

a number of

talanted

Correct your spelling

talented

and gifted people

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the world.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, making worse

relationship

Correct article usage

the relationship

show examples

between

parents

Use synonyms

and kids, and it is t

i.nureddinnFri Jan 31 2025

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Task Response

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you intend to discuss. It can also benefit from a stronger thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to use transitions between paragraphs more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. This will help make your argument more cohesive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'mobilephones' should be 'mobile phones' and 'limid' should be 'limit'.

Task Response

You address the topic and provide an opinion on whether the use of smartphones by children is negative or positive.

Task Response

You provide examples to support your points, which is a good practice in essay writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to solve it?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology , which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way . Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?