the chart gives information on the percentage of women going into

the chart gives information on the percentage of women going into
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart gives information on the percentage of women going into
The bar graph illustrates
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the global sales of different kinds of digital
games
Use synonyms
2000
Change preposition
from 2000
show examples
to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
types of
games
Use synonyms
, excluding console
games
Use synonyms
, have
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
constant rising trend for the past 6 years. Handheld
games
Use synonyms
reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
revenue of $18bn, which is a significant difference from the other three.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that
also
Linking Words
has been an introduction of online
games
Use synonyms
in 2001,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
sales continuously rose year by year and reached its peak in 2006 with $8bn of net value.
However
Linking Words
, console
games
Use synonyms
with $6bn net worth in 2000 had to stable negative growth rate and now
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the lowest amount of sales out of the four
games
Use synonyms
in 2006. In terms of mobile
games
Use synonyms
, similar to online
games
Use synonyms
,
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
revenue is growing constantly with
$
Correct article usage
a $
show examples
7bn net worth.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words games, bn with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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