IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Write a report describing the information in the graph below.

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The bar chart illustrates either the number of
computers
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 or the
internet
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 per 1000 citizens in the nine Arab countries.
Overall
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, people
use
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 these services or goods most frequently in the UAE and Kuwait,
whereas
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 in the remaining
territories
Add a comma
territories,
show examples
this
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 phenomenon is not commonplace.
It is clear that
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 the highest proportion of PC sets possessed by citizens is seen in the UAE, as opposed to Kuwait where
computers
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 take higher positions. Focusing first on the territories which lead in the
use
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 of
computers
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 and the
internet
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, in the UAE, almost 350 in 1000 people have
computers
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,
whereas
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 in Kuwait, the corresponding figure is only 100 in 1000. When it comes to the
internet
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, the differences in these two areas are not that significant, with nearly 150 users for both of them. As for the remaining regions, only in Lebanon, the
use
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital devices and the
internet
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 reach the level of over 50 units per 1000 residents. Regarding Jordan and Oman, the percentage for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both categories utilised there is slightly lower than 50. With respect to Egypt, Morocco, and Syria, their inhabitants do not almost possess PC sets
as well as
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use
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 the
internet
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. The same trend with the
internet
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 is observed in S. Arabia.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, the proportion of
computers
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 there is considerably higher, as it
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
 more than 50 units per 1000 inhabitants.

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clarity
Ensure clarity in comparing data; differentiate between 'PC sets' and 'computers' clearly if they are distinct.
task achievement
Add more examples for countries where internet and computer usage is less to strengthen the comparative analysis.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and overall insight into the data presented.
task achievement
Data on major countries like UAE and Kuwait is analyzed thoroughly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graph, chart, axis, period, timeframe
  • Trend, increase, decrease, growth, decline
  • Stability, plateau, fluctuate, variability, inconsistency
  • Peak, trough, milestone, threshold, benchmark
  • Significant, considerable, marginal, slight, dramatic
  • Explanation, influence, factor, contribution, correlation
  • Projection, forecast, anticipate, predict
  • Surpass, exceed, fall below, remain constant, maintain
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