IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph shows the
park
Use synonyms
 as it was when it opened in 1920 and as it is today.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are a lot of things that have changed. Only
one
Use synonyms
 of the rose gardens stands as it was in the past. And there is no fountain in the middle of the Grange
Park
Use synonyms
. It has changed for the better as it has become more modern.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of the fountain, there is a rose garden with seats around.They combined the small rose gardens into a large
one
Use synonyms
 and decided to put them in the middle. And
instead
Linking Words
 of
one
Use synonyms
 of them, a new cafe was built for
park
Use synonyms
 visitors.
In addition
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 collected all the seats to put them in the middle of a beautiful garden with flowers, so that everything would be combined in
one
Use synonyms
 place. A children's play area was built next to the cafe,
whereas
Linking Words
 there used to be a pond for water plants. It has become more convenient for parents to look after their children.
Instead
Linking Words
 of a water feature, there was a glasshouse.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the glasshouse reflected the nature of the
park
Use synonyms
.There was a stage for musicians near the fountain in the past, but now there is a huge
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
show examples
 for concerts.
Hence
Linking Words
, humans who rebuilt the
park
Use synonyms
 tried to not change it, but they made it more modern and convenient.

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coherence cohesion
Clarify the logical connection between ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. This will improve the logical structure and strengthen coherence.
task achievement
Add more relevant and specific examples to back up your descriptions. This will better illustrate your points and enhance your response.
task achievement
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more vividly and accurately, which will enhance clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The writer effectively introduces the essay with a clear overview of the changes in the park, providing a good introduction.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively with a complete response and concludes with an evaluative statement about the park becoming more modern.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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