IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

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In fact, many individuals effort through doing that they hate or in the activities are do not have enough information
in
Change preposition
apply
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both reasons and results about a lot of people into multiple jobs but
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not prefer them. On one hand, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a number of societies oriented into occupation ,
however
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, it is not suitable to their knowledge.
In other
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words
Use synonyms
, the owner of
this
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 career does not
has
Change the verb form
have
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much information and experience to represent their views or ideas in the environment of the job.
As a result
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 , the workers do their duties but they do not feel comfortable or relaxed in
this
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 case.
Also
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, nowadays, some publics are going to what other people do through the life. To illustrate, they are imitating the cations and responses related to those groups of people in order to obtain new skills
display
Correct word choice
and display
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 their achievements in daily life.
For example
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, an engineer needs multiple facts to
work
Use synonyms
 successfully.
On the other hand
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, there are different consequences because many communities are going to perform the responsibilities
as
Change preposition
of
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 teachers or doctors but do not like them.
firstly
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,t is,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the individual will feel
un satisfied
Correct your spelling
unsatisfied
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on
Change preposition
with
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 the yard of the
work
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 do not
enjoyed
Change the verb form
enjoy
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 the ability regarding
to
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apply
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it.
For instance
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 LINKING
WORDS
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Usage
Correct article usage
The usage
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 of linking
words
Use synonyms
 is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking
words
Use synonyms
 demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score. , the actors in the films need many experiences
for appearing
Change preposition
to appear
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 perfect exercises during the
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, the employer may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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face issues
to deal
Change the verb form
dealing
show examples
 with equipment of some devices
such
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 as machines which need the highest structures and knowledge to use. After the employee got several obstacles through
this
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 previous problem so, the might be cancelled the job.
Thus
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, plenty of potentials are required to do a lot of tasks in the career. In conclusion, the government should take action to alleviate the problem of doing activities of the
work
Use synonyms
 without any entertainment . My opinion is, that qualifications and talents are both important aspects that lead to success.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by using clearer linking phrases and organizing paragraphs logically. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help demonstrate comprehensive understanding and strengthen your task response.
Task Achievement
Clarify your main ideas and arguments to enhance the clarity of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion that address the essay topic well.
Task Achievement
Attempts to discuss both reasons and consequences of working in disliked jobs, showing a multi-faceted approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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