IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

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It has been increasingly common for consumers to purchase a few luxury
clothes
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, rather than a large amount of low-priced ones.
This
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 trend may be driven by various factors, and arguments are valid for both sides. From my perspective, it is more beneficial to keep a few expensive
clothes
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. One of the major reasons behind
this
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is the better
quality
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 and comfort that luxury provides.
Due to
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 the fact that
clothes
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 with higher prices tend to be made of advanced raw materials
such
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 as cashmere, which may increase the cost of production. So companies have to set a relatively higher price for these goods.
However
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, these expensive
clothes
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 can offer a more enjoyable experience of wearing regarding the texture.
In addition
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, keeping a small number of
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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quality
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clothes
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 may reduce waste.
People
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 may change their
clothes
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 unnecessarily frequently in order to keep up with the
fashion
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 trends, which may result in
Correct article usage
the wastes
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wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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 of
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 items.
Hence
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, it is helpful to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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waste by having a few expensive
clothes
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 may emphasize
on
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apply
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brand over
quality
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.
Since luxury
Correct word choice
Luxury
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 companies set higher prices
due to
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 their reputation of brands rather than their actual qualities.
Therefore
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, customers may choose to pay for goods
with
Change preposition
of
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 the same
quality
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 at a lower price.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 appreciate the convenience of cheap
clothes
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 for
fashion
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 workers. Since the
fashion
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 market changes constantly, employees, especially those working in the
fashion
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 field, may need to change their
clothes
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 frequently. In
this
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 circumstance, low-priced products that are provided by fast
fashion
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 brands
such
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 as ZARA may reduce the cost of purchases.
Therefore
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,
fashion
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 workers can effectively satisfy the needs of their jobs
as well as
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 maintain a fair budget. In conclusion,
although
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 having lots of cheaper
clothes
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 may avoid brand premiums and lower the costs for
people
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 who are working in the
fashion
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 area, buying just a few expensive
clothes
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 is more environmentally friendly
while
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 having a better experience of wearing advanced
clothes
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.

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task achievement
Consider strengthening the introduction by clearly stating your position. While you've mentioned your perspective, a more direct statement would enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is developed with sufficient detail. For instance, the argument about waste reduction could benefit from specific examples or statistics.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transition between sentences and paragraphs for better flow. The argument about fashion workers, for example, could be linked more smoothly to the previous points.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of using 'expensive' multiple times, consider synonyms like 'luxury' or 'high-end.'
task achievement
The essay effectively presents arguments for both sides of the debate, demonstrating a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is mostly clear, making the points understandable and relevant to the topic.
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