IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In most successful organisations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people say that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

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A good interaction between managers and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 is one of
key
Add an article
the key
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 factors in successful businesses.
Team
Use synonyms
communication
Use synonyms
 will influence the workflow within the organisation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the importance of
communication
Use synonyms
 between leaders and
team
Use synonyms
 members.
On
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At
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 work, teamwork are playing important
factors
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factor
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 that
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
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 the flow of work.
A good
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Good
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 teamwork
need
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needs
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
team
Use synonyms
communication
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. It is important for
head
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the head
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 of
organisation
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the organisation
an organisation
show examples
 to communicate their vision and goal to the
team
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, clear
intrustions
Correct your spelling
instructions
 from leaders to their members will minimize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
miscommunication.
For example
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,
Team
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 will have their own
intreptreation
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interpretation
on
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of
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 the task assigned to them when the supervisor
do
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does
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 not give the right instructions.
As a result
Linking Words
, the output will not be good.
On
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In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
word
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words
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, bad
commucation
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communication
 will lead to ineffective
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the opportunity for
team
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 members to discuss their updates,
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
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, views, and problems
on
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in
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workplace
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the workplace
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 will induce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more productive
works
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work
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study showed that businesses which had regular one-on-one meetings between managers and workers tend to have better performance than those
do
Correct pronoun usage
that do
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 not. It shows that having a frequent conversation with the supervisor can solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems more
quictly
Correct your spelling
quickly
 and directly. Not only that, the scheduled discussion can improve the monitoring and evaluation process in
a
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an
show examples
 organisation In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, businesses will have better
outcames
Correct your spelling
outcomes
 when they have clear internal
communication
Use synonyms
. Interaction between leaders and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 will influence the teamwork, workflow, and monitoring process in organisations that have impacts on productivity and efficiency.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows logically from the previous one. Transition words can also help to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Although your main argument is clear, providing additional relevant examples could strengthen your response. Try to include a wider range of examples to demonstrate your points more effectively.
Task Achievement
To fully achieve a high band score, ensure that all main points are deeply explored and backed by clear, specific examples. Consider discussing alternative perspectives briefly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument nicely.
Task Achievement
The main points of your argument regarding teamwork and communication were clearly outlined and mostly well supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains a generally logical structure, effectively developing the argument from paragraph to paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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