Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Other thinki that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some people believe individuals must stay loyal to

one

Use synonyms

particular

company

Use synonyms

all their job

life

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. Others believe that it has a lot of benefits o

work

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in different companies.

Although

Linking Words

it is better to

work

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one

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organisation because individuals can get promoted after a

while

Linking Words

I believe that working in different

organisation

Fix the agreement mistake

organisations

show examples

can help

wit

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

gaining

work

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

. On the

one

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hand, working in

one

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company

Use synonyms

throughout the whole period of

work

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life

Use synonyms

can help with

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

financial status.

This

Linking Words

is because they would get promoted after a

while

Linking Words

working in the department.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they would earn more money

at the end

Linking Words

of their

career

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For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

company

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called Mercedes promote their employees who

were

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

working in the

company

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for above 15 years.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, their position will be

leveled

Change the spelling

levelled

show examples

up because the

company

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know the worker is loyal

Change preposition

show examples

them because they stayed for a long time.

In contrast

Linking Words

, I think it is preventing

Correct pronoun usage

me to

show examples

to gain

Change preposition

from gaining

show examples

work

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, switching

Use synonyms

work places

Correct your spelling

workplaces

show examples

help the individual to gain more

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

experience

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can be turned into

successful

Correct article usage

a successful

show examples

job

life

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. Because the person who has more

experience

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are

Change the verb form

show examples

likely to be successful

for

Change preposition

show examples

having more knowledge.

For instance

Linking Words

, many people

starts

Change the verb form

start

show examples

having

Change the verb

have

show examples

a job in their teenage years because they know that having more

work

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experience

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helps with gaining

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and it will benefit their future

career

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. I believe

this

Linking Words

can help the person to

be appeared

Change to the active voice

appear

have appeared

show examples

in many cases. In conclusion, staying in the same firm whole period of

career

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can help the individual

such

Linking Words

as getting promoted.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

wringing

Verb problem

working

show examples

in many jobs can benefit the individual’s

experience

Use synonyms

career

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

mcqueensever Sat Feb 01 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction presents both views, but it can be clearer. Consider rephrasing the question and stating your opinion more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of that paragraph. This will help in developing a more logical structure.

Task Achievement

Try to elaborate more on your examples and explanations to make them more relevant and specific. This will strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

There are some minor grammatical and spelling mistakes (e.g., 'thinks' instead of 'think', 'wit' instead of 'with'). Proofreading can help reduce these errors.

Task Achievement

You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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