🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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The most important

quality

Use synonyms

in human life is an

industrious

Replace the word

industriousness

show examples

. Doesn't matter what obstacles you will face, if you will try hard you surely achieve all

goals

Correct article usage

the goals

show examples

that you want. In my opinion, every culture should

giving

Change the verb form

give

be giving

show examples

children

this

Linking Words

message. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

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will try to prove my point of view. It is clear, that industrious is

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

quality

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, it is very important to give

this

Linking Words

message from an early age.

Thus

Linking Words

, when

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

will grow

Wrong verb form

grows

show examples

up,

aforementioned

Correct article usage

the aforementioned

show examples

quality

Use synonyms

will help him to achieve

Correct pronoun usage

his purposes

show examples

purposes

Fix the agreement mistake

purpose

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, my father always told me that

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

harding

Correct your spelling

hard

essential

Correct article usage

an essential

show examples

grade in human life. Now, I easily reach all that I want to. On

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand, sometimes people start forgetting to care about physically and mentally

healt

Correct your spelling

healthy

health

. In

such

Linking Words

spheres as sport,

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

surely can sacrifice their health.

For instance

Linking Words

, my sister is a gymnast. Despite the fact, that she is 12 years old, she has a lot of physical traumas and

also

Linking Words

some mental troubles. I think, that health is way more important than

achivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

achievement

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

. In conclusion, I definitely can say that

such

Linking Words

quality

Use synonyms

try

Replace the word

trying

show examples

harding

Correct your spelling

hard

is very important, but you always should remember about boundaries.

dimashmux1999Sun Feb 02 2025

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task achievement

Enhance your introduction by clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. This provides a clearer roadmap for your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that your supporting points directly relate to the advantages and disadvantages of giving children the message of hard work. Avoid introducing unrelated examples.

task achievement

Make sure to provide a more balanced discussion by elaborating on both the advantages and disadvantages throughout your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Use connectors and transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help strengthen coherence and cohesion.

coherence and cohesion

Revise for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Some phrases could be simplified or corrected to enhance the understanding of your points.

positive

You provide personal examples which can make your writing more relatable and engaging.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

199 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
self-esteem
confidence
obstacles
ambitious goals
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
stress
burnout
external factors
socio-economic status
resources
opportunities

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🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Word Count

n this modern world, there is a strong competition between young and old people for the same job. I will discuss the pessimistic sides of this trend and suggest some feasible solutions. First of all, this trend will reduce young people’s employment opportunities and give rise to unemployment.

In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some individuals this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Topic- Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages for Children. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your knowledge.