IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or coeducational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, every country
provide
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provides
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 parents an opportunity to choose between mixed and single-sex schools. It is argued that if students study in a single-sex environment, they may face problems in their
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further
Correct word choice
future
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 lives.
This
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 statement totally agrees with
this
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 statement, as students do not undergo real-world preparations in those schools and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
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social interaction skills. Studying in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 environment with the same
gender
Use synonyms
 may cause inconveniences in real life. Not only will youth feel uncomfortable in the diverse world, but they
also
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 may not
also
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 possess the ability to interact with
opposite
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the opposite
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gender
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, provided statistics by Nazarbayev University show that alumni of those institutions struggle to promote
in
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apply
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their careers 45% more than the common graduates.
Furthermore
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, the students show
less
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fewer
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 teamwork skills and have limitations in their thinking perspectives. Graduating
while
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 being surrounded by the same
gender
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, humanity can lead to difficulties in communication and collaboration. Individuals may develop unconscious disdain for the different
Use synonyms
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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 and exhibit unhealthy competition.
For instance
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, a study conducted by the Worldwide Education Association
prove
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proves
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 that graduates of co-educational institutions demonstrate 56% higher efficiency than the other group, as they find socialising in diverse settings acceptable and common. In conclusion, even though parents may opt for
the
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apply
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single-sex schools
in
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with
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 meaningful intentions, they jeopardise their children's future. As youth can not be ready for real-life cases and find collaboration in
the
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apply
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diverse settings hard.

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task achievement
The introduction contains a clear thesis statement, but it could be improved by rephrasing for clarity and reducing redundancy. Consider stating your position more explicitly without repeating the phrase 'this statement' twice.
task achievement
Ensure that all points presented in the essay are supported by relevant examples. Some statements, such as the ones about graduates' inefficiencies or skills, could benefit from more explanation to clarify their significance and context.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using more cohesive devices and transitions. Occasionally, the connection between sentences and ideas is weak, making it difficult to follow. For example, phrases like 'Not only ... but also...' should be structured more clearly.
task achievement
In the second body paragraph, clarify your argument about 'unconscious disdain' and 'unhealthy competition'—these concepts may need further elaboration or supportive evidence rather than just presenting them as facts.
coherence and cohesion
Add a concluding remark that summarizes your main arguments succinctly, reinforcing your position. This will strengthen the conclusion and leave a more lasting impression.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout and engages with the topic. Your argument is relevant and supports your thesis, demonstrating a good understanding of potential disadvantages of single-sex schooling.
task achievement
The use of statistics and studies adds credibility to your arguments and helps to substantiate your claims, making them more impactful.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • social interaction
  • real-world preparation
  • gender stereotypes
  • academic performance
  • healthy competition
  • personal and professional settings
  • reinforce
  • collaborate
  • representative environment
  • promote gender equality
  • break down stereotypes
  • social pressures
  • academic concentration
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