Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for the health. The government must find a way to reduce this thype of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Burnout ,mental
exhausting
Replace the word
exhaustion
show examples
and health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
the main consequences the worker may
faced
Change the verb form
face
show examples
after long working
hours
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals need to balance between professional and personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, the government ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
institutions and companies should
work
Use synonyms
to reduce the workload and provide relaxing
fascilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
. At the onset, working for long
hours
Use synonyms
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as a major
problme
Correct your spelling
problem
in many countries.Many individuals
whoes
Correct your spelling
who
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
for extra
hours
Use synonyms
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
burnout after
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
short periods of time
due to
Linking Words
increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure , anxiety ,
tension
Correct word choice
and tension
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
to numerous health problems
thus
Linking Words
will
leads
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lead
show examples
to reduce productivity and faced struggling to keep up .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
work -related
Correct your spelling
work-related
show examples
stress has a huge
effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
effect
show examples
on the
worker
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worker's
show examples
personal life
whereas
Linking Words
if the employees do not manage the stress effectively and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a mental breaks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a mental break
mental breaks
show examples
in order to continue progressing ,will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to chronic symptom effects
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
relationships and mindset for the long term.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments and worker institutions contribute effectively
into increase
Change preposition
to increasing
show examples
or
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
what their employees
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instract laws
prevents
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevent
show examples
workers from
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
for more than 8-10
hours
Use synonyms
a day
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
providing
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
workplace environment .
Secondly
Linking Words
, with all the possibilities the governments need to provide facilities to reduce
Use synonyms
work-stress
Correct your spelling
work stress
show examples
and maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity and working-life balance
moreover
Linking Words
, enhance their career
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
and growth. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
many workers face
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high -pressure
due to
Linking Words
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
duration of
work
Use synonyms
, the governments and the
responsiblile
Correct your spelling
responsible
responsibility
institutions should provide proper working time that
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
along with
Linking Words
human ability
in addition
Linking Words
to
leduce
Correct your spelling
reduce
the
micromangement
Correct your spelling
micromanagement
micro management
over the employees and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
rest times during the working
hours
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific stress-related health issues or studies could strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work to correct spelling and grammar errors, such as 'fascilities' (facilities), 'problme' (problem), and 'responsiblile' (responsible). These can distract from your ideas.
task achievement
You successfully identify the key issues related to long working hours and their consequences, indicating a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the effects of long hours and the role of government and institutions, demonstrating critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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