IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Robots and artificial intelligence re being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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In the present world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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robots
Use synonyms
 are made to do
works
Wrong verb form
work
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where
Correct word choice
that
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 cannot go and do.
The places
Correct article usage
Places
show examples
 like fire accidents and hazardous situations.In
this
Linking Words
 essay ,we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
how the future will be with
robots
Use synonyms
 and artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
.In my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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 there are many things which are more
benefial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to society by using Artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 and
robots
Use synonyms
.
An artififical
Correct article usage
Artififical
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intelligence
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in the technical sector which leads to
leave
Change the verb form
leaving
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 humans jobless.The
robots
Use synonyms
 are made to work
Change preposition
in at
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at
Change preposition
in
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Correct article usage
the automation
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automation
Replace the word
automated
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 industry where
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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employee's
Change the noun form
employees
employee
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 are needed
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial to the owner of the company but the
robot's
Change noun form
robots
show examples
 are replacing humans.
For example
Linking Words
, In the past 10
year's
Change noun form
year
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 if we take the packaging industry the majority of people
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 working in
this
Linking Words
 sector as the years
are passing
Wrong verb form
pass
show examples
 it has developed
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 the
robots
Use synonyms
 are designated to do human
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
 people
to lose
Change the verb form
losing
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 their jobs. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
,There are many advantages
using
Change preposition
to using
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 artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 and
robots
Use synonyms
 it reduces
the
Correct article usage
apply
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man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
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 and gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
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accurate results of work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the time
to market
Add a hyphen
to-market
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 cost is
so
Rephrase
much
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 less
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to human work.
The artificial
Correct article usage
Artificial
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intelligence
Use synonyms
 is used in many sectors like education, business, agriculture and construction. If we take
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 example of home automation, we can control
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things from anywhere by using mobile.
However
Linking Words
,it
resurgence
Fix the agreement mistake
resurgences
show examples
 the security. To summarize
this
Linking Words
,I would like
to conclude
Linking Words
 that, the more
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantages the disadvantages
but
Correct word choice
apply
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comparing both using artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human life easier than before.As
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology is rising significantly the scope of workers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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also
Linking Words
exceeding
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to your central argument and that your points build logically on one another.
task achievement
Clarify and refine your thesis statement in the introduction. A strong thesis will guide your reader and clarify your position.
language use
Use more varied vocabulary and grammar structures. This will enhance the overall quality of your writing and help express ideas more precisely.
argument clarity
You provided a clear perspective on the topic, emphasizing both advantages and disadvantages.
example usage
You attempted to give relevant examples, like the packaging industry, to support your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Technological Advancements
  • Cost Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Skill Shortages
  • Safety and Precision
  • Competitive
  • Innovation
  • Sophisticated
  • Workforce Displacement
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Hazardous Work Environments
  • Initial Setup
  • Ongoing Expenses
What to do next:
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