IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.Describe the information shown in the graph.

The line graph shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.Describe the information shown in the graph.
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The line chart provides information about the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
three
Use synonyms
 types of junk food by youth in Mauritius in
three
Use synonyms
 decades between 1985 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
pizza
Use synonyms
, which was the highest of times eaten in 1985,
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 in all
three
Use synonyms
 decades.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two fast foods, both experienced growth from
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1985. From the outset, in 1985,
pizza
Use synonyms
 was predominated among other fast foods, with
consumption
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
at 60.
However
Linking Words
, with every following year,
pizza
Use synonyms
 experienced
dramatic
Add an article
a dramatic
show examples
 decline in proportion, and
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2000,
pizza
Use synonyms
 closed the gap with hamburgers and fried
chicken
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
.
To
Change preposition
By
show examples
 the end of 2015,
pizza
Use synonyms
’s tendency was at
lowest
Correct pronoun usage
its lowest
show examples
 state at 10, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 up a 6 to 1 ratio with comparing 1985.
Moreover
Linking Words
, hamburgers and fried
chicken
Use synonyms
 were at 10 and approximately 8 in 1985, respectively. Across all
three
Use synonyms
 decades, both experienced a sharp rise, except for fried
chicken
Use synonyms
, which stayed at the same level from the start of 2005 until the end of 2010, when it started rising gradually. By the end of 2015, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of hamburgers and fried
chicken
Use synonyms
 was at 70 and approximately 65.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, three, pizza, chicken with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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