Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants the all- round development of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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Some people contend that it is important to consider

arts

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

, drama and creative writing as important

subjects

Use synonyms

as it helps in children's

overall

Linking Words

development. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

notion, despite the fact that

arts

Use synonyms

, singing and creative

subjects

Use synonyms

are important

however

Linking Words

academic

syllabus

Fix the agreement mistake

syllabi

show examples

like science,

maths

Correct word choice

and maths

show examples

are

also

Linking Words

essential for increasing their knowledge. Proponents of

this

Linking Words

view argue that

arts

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

, drama and creative writing play crucial roles in children's holistic development because they enhance their cognitive talent, fine motor abilities , eye-hand coordination and many more. As kids take part in these activities can help them to develop their own ideas and mitigate the academic pressure. It will act as a therapy for the student and assist in exploring their hidden talent.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are some students who are not very good in

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

but when it comes to art and creative writing, they are brilliant.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these

schedule

Change the determiner

schedules

show examples

are particularly beneficial for students. Statistics revealed that 76% of juveniles opted for art and

music

Use synonyms

as their favourite program of

studies

Fix the agreement mistake

study

show examples

rather than any other.

However

Linking Words

, learning other

subjects

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

equally important because that

also

Linking Words

helps them to broaden their horizons. They should not rely on modules like art and

music

Use synonyms

. In science, they get knowledge about body parts, functions, space and other aspects.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in maths, they tend to obtain expertise like problem-solving and critical thinking. In conclusion, every subject has its own value and importance. schedule like

arts

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and maths cannot be fully ignored. School authorities should

also

Linking Words

consider these as important

subjects

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and should be added to the school curriculum.

sidhukomal096Sun Feb 02 2025

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Task Response

Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. This will help outline your position more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more connecting words to enhance the flow of your essay. This would help in achieving better coherence between ideas.

Task Response

Include more specific examples or studies to support your arguments, particularly in the discussion around the importance of arts and other subjects.

Task Response

The recognition of both arts and academic subjects demonstrates a balanced perspective and acknowledges the importance of a well-rounded education.

Task Response

The argument about the therapeutic value of arts for students is commendable and adds depth to your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overall development
school curriculum
self-expression
emotional intelligence
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
cognitive abilities
memory
attention span
academic success
social skills
teamwork
communication
stress reduction
mental health
well-being

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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.