"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Regarding the fact that we are living in
the
modern society, quite a few Correct article usage
a
people
make an effort to determine new profitable approaches to health
issues. Consequently
, a considerable number of people
firmly state that the topic of health
deserves more attention, awareness and capital, while
the other majority of people
unanimously denounce and claim that there is no use in emphasizing this
matter on a big scale. Personally, I hold the view that we should ponder over this
tender subject equally and properly. The following essay targets to support the mentioned statements above with appropriate reasons and examples.
Above all
, I would like to point out that in the 21st century
the number of diseases has dropped drastically, meanwhile the quantity of cure methods has insanely increased. Add a comma
century,
Moreover
, it is apparent that the role of information technology, science and social consciousness is undeniably pivotal in order to find prevention ways and cease such
possible threats against our wellness and immune systems. For instance
, during the latest global COVID-19 pandemic, everybody gets to learn how to defend themselves against it and safeguard their bodies from it via the help of mass media and the internet. All the countries assembled and invented powerful vaccines to prevent and stop the spreading of this
fatal sickness.
On other
hand, we should Correct article usage
the other
also
take into account that authority
and relevant ministries always spend millions of money in the Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
health
sector each year just to ensure their nations' well-being. Thus
, the
television channels air special programmes and advertisements regularly Correct article usage
apply
inform
Fix the infinitive
to inform
people
about plausible cases and injuries in the human body, in schools and colleges people
learn about some health
problems, their symptoms and how to treat them. It is a well-known fact that even if some kinds of illnesses which are caused by viruses and bacterias
do not show any kind of signs they could be still dangerous not for just us but Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
also
to our children and grandchildren via travelling through our genes. For example
, people
are not aware of the fact that most genetic diseases are caught from unhygienic and contaminated items as well as
places through blood and air.
All things considered, I am highly confident to restate that each country should spend lots of money on their health
system in order to secure the prosperity of their lands and raise the level of wellness of the population.Submitted by nigar.rza.2502 on
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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from refining your arguments to be more precise and avoiding some general statements. More specific examples and data will further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smoother transitions between your paragraphs and ideas. This will help in maintaining the flow of your essay and making it more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you maintain a consistent focus on the topic throughout the essay, avoiding any potential digressions. This will make your argument stronger and more focused.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and well-structured argument addressing the importance of prevention over cure.
task achievement
You have effectively used examples to support your argument, such as the COVID-19 pandemic example.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring the response well.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas in your essay is apparent, making it easy to follow your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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