IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

most offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. why is this happening ? what measures can be taken to tackle this problem ?

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many convicts
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 the worst crimes after they
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 the punishments. I believe it is because they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not scared anymore about the result of their work. But one way to
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
toward
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue is to predict their future crimes and
forced
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
 them to never take back
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
.
normaly
Correct your spelling
Normally
, scare
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 humans away from doing bad things because they know there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 consequences .
Therefore
Linking Words
, after
experianced
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 the feeling of chastisement they
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
 to their behaviour
also
Linking Words
, motivate feeling attracted them to do more and they will get more pleasure
about
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their work. Like ,robbers who rob more after they passed some time in prison.
In addition
Linking Words
 , there are some
avoideness
Correct your spelling
voidness
 objects which officials can offer
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
a prisoner
show examples
prisoner
Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
, use
tolls
Correct your spelling
tools
show examples
 like GPS are able to show where the person is and
also
Linking Words
, the offender
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
 there is no way to cheat and
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
.
however
Linking Words
, taking care of criminals
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 full attention so it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more cast for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 but
on the other hand
Linking Words
, citizens are safe . in conclusion, yes criminals
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 more
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 after they
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 free from prison,
this
Linking Words
 is
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 of not
scare
Change the form of the verb
scared
show examples
 they do not
sare
Correct your spelling
scared
show examples
 after
faced
Add a missing verb
being faced
show examples
 with the consequences of their work . but there is always a way to keep them away from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 attraction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
.
for example
Linking Words
 , keep
Correct article usage
an eyes
show examples
eyes
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
show examples
 on them for a
while
Linking Words
 when they are free in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly paraphrase the topic and state your main ideas. Overall, providing a stronger thesis statement will guide your essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should ideally start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of that paragraph.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, mention specific programs or measures that have been successful in preventing reoffending.
task achievement
You've shown a good understanding of the topic and presented some potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
What to do next:
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