Today, many people spend less and less time at their home. What’s the reason for it? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

In recent times,the majority of individuals tend to spend almost all of their

life

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house

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the house

show examples

and there

are

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a great range of reasons that make

people

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prefer staying at

home

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rather than doing social activities .

This

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is considered a big problem because it affects human behaviour and could harm humanity. There are some reasons that make individuals choose to stay at

home

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over going outside.

First,

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social media nowadays social platforms started to become an essential thing to

people

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's lives and it takes approximately all their time .

For example

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people

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start to talk and communicate with others by using social apps like Snapchat rather than meeting in person to chat .

Moreover

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,bullying especially at school .To make it clear when pupils go to school and they suffer from bullying by other students

this

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will lead to favour staying at

apartment

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the apartment

show examples

over practising social

life

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this

Linking Words

is because they lose self-confidence. No social activity and spending your day at

home

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will affect the way that humans act or respond

as well as

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affect

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the

show examples

world . Spending your

life

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home

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will make you an introverted person

also

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you will not know how to deal with others.

For instance

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,being outside and having some social

life

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will make the person more expert when it comes to communicating and dealing with others

this

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is because the more you get in trouble with

people

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the more mature you will get .

Furthermore

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, it will impact society in a really bad way

due to

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the fact that society will be weak and destroyed.

For example

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, if individuals select to spend their time alone at

home

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this

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will lead to less communication between the society which will make the culture unflexible. In conclusion ,everything in

this

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life

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has reason to happen and affect

people

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and the community so wasting your hour at

home

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may impact human lifestyles in unwanted ways and

also

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make the community less achievable .

maram5060m

Feb 2, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction could be clearer. Try to state the reasons and effects directly to guide the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use linking words to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, elaborate on the effects on society or give instances of how communication changes.

coherence and cohesion

Consider rephrasing sentences for clarity and grammar. Some sentences are quite long and may confuse the reader.

task achievement

You have identified relevant reasons for the trend of staying at home, highlighting social media and bullying.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarises the main ideas of the essay.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extended working hours
remote working
urbanization
economic pressures
digital nomad
social activities
technological advancements
commutes
recreational activities
engagement

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Today, many people spend less and less time at their home. What’s the reason for it? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?