Many people believe that social networking sites have huge negative effect on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world with advanced technology development, the Internet has been an inseparable part
in
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of

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our society, and one of its features is social networking sites.
While
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they are widely used particularly as a platform for gaining information and communicating
people
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with people

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, I believe excessive and improper these affect negatively to
people’s
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health and society. We cannot ignore that social websites are effective
for
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in

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easing individuals’ daily
life
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lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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by providing unlimited access to any information and knowledge,
as well as
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exchanging thoughts and opinions, regardless of distance and time.
However
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, mismanaging these platforms may lead to sedentary
behavior
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behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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which
harm
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harms

The plural verb harm does not appear to agree with the singular subject sedentary behavior. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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one’s
wellbeing
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well-being

The word wellbeing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
For instance
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, a boy who
excessively
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is excessively

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engrossed in Twitter throughout the day
tend
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tends

The plural verb tend does not appear to agree with the singular subject boy. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to stay indoors, which results in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

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of healthy exercise and outdoor activities. These unhealthy lifestyles can damage
people’s
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

long-term health, and
worser
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worse

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, result
into
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in

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many chronic diseases
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as obesity. Other drawbacks of social networking sites are they can deteriorate individuals’ relationships and connections, which
lead
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leads

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to social isolation.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because people can utilize them to communicate
each
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with each

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other digitally, which reduces face-to-face interactions in real life.
While
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they are indeed effective for urgent communication, individuals may have fewer friends in real life and could not establish meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Lack of meaningful connections can negatively affect
people’s
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mental health,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lead. Consider changing it.

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into
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to

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severe depression and anxiety.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, overly depending
in
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on

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social networks surely reduces the quality of real-life relationships, which can lead to serious societal issues. In conclusion,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

social platforms may provide numerous benefits in terms of accessibility and convenience,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

improper and
misusage
Correct your spelling
misused

The word misusage doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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these features could extremely harm
people’s
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being

The word wellbeing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and social dynamics.

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task achievement
Clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction and restate it clearly in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are fully explained and directly related to your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence structure by revising grammar and word order issues to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have clearly identified both the positive and negative aspects of social networking sites, showing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are structured well and each presents a distinct idea which is easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples adds credibility to your arguments and helps illustrate the points made.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social networking
  • isolation
  • depression
  • virtual interactions
  • misinformation
  • polarization
  • cyberbullying
  • mental health
  • wellbeing
  • unrealistic standards
  • self-esteem
  • body image
  • productivity
  • distraction
  • public opinion
  • conflict
  • societal harm
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