The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.
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A glance at the bar charts given displays the purposes of UK's bachelor and master
students
Use synonyms
after leaving their colleges in 2008 excluding as an employee. Based on
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
perspective, getting
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
level of education attained the
first
Use synonyms
position in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both degrees.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
a volunteer was the least choice in these two degrees.
First
Use synonyms
of all, in the UK graduate's bar chart, taking a
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
study obtained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
Use synonyms
place
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
29.665 participants.
Be
Wrong verb form
Being
show examples
a part-time worker got
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
around 17.735
students
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
unemployment took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
around 16.000
students
Use synonyms
. Sadly, working as a volunteer was the latest position
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
3,500
students
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in the UK's
Master
Change noun form
Master's
show examples
degree bar chart,
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
a doctoral was the
first
Use synonyms
choice by
students
Use synonyms
with 2.725
students
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the second and third places were part-time
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
and without any job
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2.535 and 1.625
students
Use synonyms
respectively.
Then
Linking Words
, the least choice was volunteer by 345 people.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, first with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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