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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. Discuss the lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In today's world, many
children
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 spend most of their
time
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 indoors because of the busy modern lifestyle.
Instead
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 of playing outside, they often use technology,
such
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 as video games, social media, and the internet.
However
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, it is very important for
children
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 to spend
time
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 in
nature
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, as it helps them develop creativity, imagination, social skills and like these. More and more
children
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 prefer staying inside rather than going outdoors. They spend hours using electronic devices, which can have negative effects on their mental health and social life.
For instance
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, in some countries, a large number of
children
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 spend too much
time
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 on gadgets, making them less interested in
nature
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. To solve
this
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 problem, the government and schools have started programs to encourage outdoor activities,
such
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 as visiting parks,
nature
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 reserves and similar pursuits. These activities help
children
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 understand the importance of protecting the environment. Spending
time
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 in
nature
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 has many benefits. It helps
children
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 relax, reduces stress, and improves their mood. Being in
nature
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also
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 makes them well-being and teaches them to appreciate the environment. In many countries, schools take students to mountains, valleys, and other natural places to help them connect with
nature
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. In conclusion,
although
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children
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 today spend a lot of
time
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 indoors, it is of paramount importance for them to explore and appreciate
nature
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. Spending
time
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 outdoors can improve their health, happiness, and understanding of the environment.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or personal anecdotes to strengthen your points. This can help in illustrating your ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more linking words to improve the flow of your ideas. This can enhance coherence in your writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and discusses the importance of nature for children.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical progression of ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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