IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The amount of garbage produced by our cities is a big problem for governemts around the world.What are the causes of this excess waste?How can this problem be fixed?

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Nowadays it is
frequent
Correct article usage
a frequent
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 topic
discussion
Change preposition
of discussion
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,
more
Correct word choice
and more
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 and more countries suffering from the negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of trash. The main root of
this
Linking Words
 tendency is the highly increased manufacturing.For
this
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 government can provide various support to slow
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, industrialisation has grown significantly in many areas. In most developing countries,
for example
Linking Words
, there more factories flourish, the higher the level of garbage and pollution.
As a result
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, the released carbon gases and smoke can seriously affect the health of people and the environment, which can cause some diseases
such
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 as lung cancer, heart attack, asthma and so on.
In addition
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, both in the city and in the countryside, many people pollute the environment by throwing away their garbage and waste.
In other words
Linking Words
, in our society not only
industrial
Add a missing verb
do industrial
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 enterprises have a negative impact on the environment, but people are
also
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 harmed. When it comes to
it's
Replace the word
its
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 solutions, there are several ways to protect
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
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.The government should build large factories outside the city or
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the waste area and
shortening
Wrong verb form
shorten
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 the working hours.It is necessary to build power plants that do not emit emissions, which are popular today. Specifically, in Asian countries, especially in China recycling plastic bottles is becoming of the country considerably. In conclusion, citizens are as equally responsible for the above-mentioned problems as authorities.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Make sure each idea flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples or data. This will help to strengthen your arguments and provide a fuller response.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your writing by checking for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'it's solutions' which should be 'its solutions'.
task achievement
You have identified some key causes of waste, such as industrialisation and personal habits, which is a good starting point for the discussion.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the shared responsibility of citizens and authorities, which can leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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