IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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language
Use synonyms
 is a requirement to survive these days,
while
Linking Words
 others think that being forced
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
society
Add an article
a society
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 where they should speak in
different
Correct article usage
a different
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language
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Add a missing verb
is such
show examples
 a mess
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the difficulty in communicating.
While
Linking Words
 I agree that disability to speak a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 can
damaged
Wrong verb form
damage
show examples
 social integration and lead to miscommunication.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I accept
that is
Linking Words
 important to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
linguistic proficiency because easier conversation it will be. When
people
Use synonyms
 don't have knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those things,
people
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 will lose a lot of opportunities
such
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 as job
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
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, social interactions and
importance
Replace the word
important
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 knowledge in education fields.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
apply
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buy or sell through interactions by having a good knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
language
Correct article usage
the language
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means they're capable
to do
Change preposition
of doing
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 the transaction.
By living
Change preposition
Living
show examples
 in a country
that
Correct word choice
where
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 they don't know the
language
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will make some responsibility to thrive and understand the meaning of
Correct article usage
the speaker
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speaker
Change noun form
speaker's
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 talk. At the same time, I believe that disability to speak in another
language
Use synonyms
 will harden their life. Emergency situations can come unexpectedly, so they should be prepared when something urgent comes.
People
Use synonyms
 need to take specific foreign
language
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 first before they're moving to another country.
For example
Linking Words
,
While
Linking Words
 social interactions
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from communication,
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
 barrier can lead to misperception which is not good. In conclusion, despite the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 proficiency in foreign
language
Use synonyms
, I believe that difficulty will arise from
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
 barrier to
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines your main points. This helps guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use transitions to connect your points so that they flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples or details to support your arguments. This will strengthen your claims and provide clarity.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic and present various perspectives, which shows critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for a coherent response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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