IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Over the course of
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last
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the last
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 hundred years,
development
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the development
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 of technology has
transferred
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changed
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 our lives beyond recognition. Gone are the days
that
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when
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 people used to read paper books in order to acquire knowledge.
Although
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 gaining
information
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 through the
internet
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 might have a few downsides like lack of credibility, it clearly offers an array of benefits. Undoubtedly, one of the main contributions of accessing
information
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 online is that
this
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 data is available regardless of any time and place limitations. Thereby, people from different parts of the world have the opportunity to acquire up-to-date knowledge and skills with just a few clicks, rather than spending hours searching for a book in a library.
Furthermore
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, the
internet
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 provides
information
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 on an array of topics, ranging from history to medicine, it
also
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 offers various perspectives through articles, videos and blogs. As a tangible example, a recent study at Harvard University found that teenagers who do research online are far more knowledgeable than their peers.
On the contrary
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, the online sources
also
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 have some drawbacks.
Firstly
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, sometimes the
information
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 available on the
internet
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 can be inaccurate. Indeed,
due to
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 the overload of data on the
internet
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, some
information
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 may lack sufficient credibility.
Secondly
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, there is a widespread belief that unnecessary photos and clips about a subject, adhere to human memory and stifle their imagination and creativity.
For instance
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, if a young girl
focus
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focuses
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 on learning to cook based on online tutorials, she cannot prepare food without recipes. In summary,
although
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 there are negative and positive impacts of acquiring knowledge and fostering skills through the
internet
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, I believe its advantages
such
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 as accessibility and diversity, far outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear argument, try to further develop your ideas and ensure each point is fully supported with examples or explanations. For instance, you could elaborate more on the benefits of access to diverse information.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph connects smoothly to the next one. Using transitional phrases can enhance coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, arguing effectively that the advantages of internet access outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is engaging, and you provide a good overview of the topic, making it clear to the reader what to expect in the following paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital Age
  • Information Overload
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Digital Divide
  • Knowledge Dissemination
  • Reliability
  • Data Privacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Environmental Impact
  • Up-to-date Information
  • Critical Thinking Skills
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