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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph compares the proportion of the population of 4 different countries in Asia living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with projection to 2040.

The line graph compares the proportion of the population of 4 different countries in Asia living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with projection to 2040.
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The graph illustrates the proportion of
people
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 who live in
towns
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 from four different countries .Namely, the Philippines ,Malaysia,Thailand,and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020 with
forecast
Correct article usage
a forecast
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 to 2040 .
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
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 from Malaysia prefer to live in cities and it
will
Verb problem
apply
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has the highest
percentage
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 of the population who lives in
towns
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 out of the other three countries . With regard to the
percentage
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 of
people
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 who choose to live in urban areas that stood at under 20% of the total population . Back in
1970
Add a comma
1970,
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 Indonesia started with the lowest
percentage
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 of
people
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 who selected to have their houses in
towns
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 about 12% of Indonesian individuals live in
towns
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 .
Subsequently
Linking Words
 ,it will experience significant growth with 60% in 2040 and will be in the second rank of the highest
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people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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 who
lives
Change the verb form
live
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 in urban areas.Thailand was the third country whose
residence
Replace the word
residents
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 favour
to spent
Wrong verb form
spending
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 their life in cities but it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
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 that in the future the proportion of Thai citizens living in
towns
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 will increase rapidly until it reaches 50% in 2040. Turning to the greatest two countries
proprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 that their
residences
Replace the word
residents
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 like to build their homes in cities back in 1970.The Philippines stood at approximately 31% of their citizens
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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 in urban areas and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows
Wrong verb form
shown
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 in the graph the
percentage
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 of Philippines
people
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 will
saw
Wrong verb form
see
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 a great change in the future .In 2040 Malaysia will be the highest country that
it
Correct your spelling
in
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people
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's living in
towns
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 .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, towns, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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