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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. Describe the information presented below. Comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. Describe the information presented below. Comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
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A glance at the bar chart given reveals the mean
hours
Use synonyms
 of free work per week done by individuals in different groups. Based on the
overall
Linking Words
 perspectives, it can be seen that females get higher unpaid
hours
Use synonyms
 than males.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, based on
grups
Correct your spelling
groups
, mothers who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more than three
children
Use synonyms
 attain the first
position
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 wives without
children
Use synonyms
 obtain the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
position
Use synonyms
. From the initial conditions, moms with more than three
children
Use synonyms
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 the highest
hours
Use synonyms
 compared to other groups by around 56
hours
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, mothers with less than 2
children
Use synonyms
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 the second
position
Use synonyms
 by around 50%. In the end, wives with no kids
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
position
Use synonyms
 by around 30%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is interesting to see that
husband
Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
show examples
 without
children
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and father
show examples
father
Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
show examples
 with kids get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stagnant
hours
Use synonyms
 by around 15% in every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there is a significant gap between
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the unpaid work
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, children, position with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unpaid work
  • Household chores
  • Gender roles
  • Disparity
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural norms
  • Full-time housewives
  • Part-time jobs
  • Traditional responsibilities
  • Domestic roles
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