IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is a growing concern
between
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the responsibility of reduction of packaging of goods.
Consumers
Use synonyms
were advise
Change the verb form
were advised
show examples
 to stay away from buying products with a lot of packaging,
while
Linking Words
 others
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 it is the producers or the
foodstores
Correct your spelling
food stores
should
Correct pronoun usage
who should
show examples
 take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 minimizing the packaging.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyze both arguments before presenting my own opinion.
Firsty
Correct your spelling
First
, food
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
show examples
 or
plastics
Use synonyms
 are widely used in the market for food packaging and storing because
this
Linking Words
 is convenient for the
consumers
Use synonyms
 to carry. Producers
such
Linking Words
 as huge factories should take control over the huge
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of plastic materials, as
this
Linking Words
 can cause pollution if not properly
disposed
Add the preposition
disposed of
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the drainages in the Philippines are clogged
due to
Linking Words
plastics
Use synonyms
 that were irresponsibly
disposed
Add the preposition
disposed of
show examples
 by the
consumers
Use synonyms
. Sometimes people do not know where to dispose
food
Change preposition
of food
show examples
 packages as there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 too much in their house,
while
Linking Words
 others
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to burn them,
as a result
Linking Words
, it releases toxic chemicals which can result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 serious respiratory
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and other environmental issues.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
consumers
Use synonyms
 should be educated on the effects of using too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
plastics
Use synonyms
 and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
 to bring their
eco- bag
Correct your spelling
eco-bags
show examples
 whenever going to the market.
For example
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should implement a law encouraging individuals to bring their own used
plastics
Use synonyms
 or
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
show examples
 when buying fish and meat in the market or grocery stores to avoid
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
large
Change preposition
of large
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
plastics
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can aid the factory or
poducers
Correct your spelling
producers
 to use minimal
plastics
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 lower the cost of the production of products that primarily use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
plastics
Use synonyms
 as packaging.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the producers and
consumers
Use synonyms
 are both responsible for the goods that
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 a lot of packaging. The government should
also
Linking Words
 take part
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 implementing a law that prohibits the use of too much
plastics
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Consider revising your introduction for grammatical clarity. For example, you could say, 'There is a growing concern about the responsibility for reducing the amount of packaging of goods.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to organize your paragraphs clearly. Use linking phrases to improve flow between ideas. For example, you could start each paragraph with a topic sentence that summarizes the main idea of that paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion to summarize the key points and reiterate your stance more clearly. Instead of saying both parties are responsible, you could highlight your preference for one side.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively identifies both sides of the argument and presents relevant examples, which enhances the discussion.
Task Achievement
You provide specific examples related to the Philippines and initiatives like encouraging the use of eco-bags, which demonstrates your knowledge of real-world implications.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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