IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

you are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter, introduce yourself explain what experience and special skills you have tell him/her when you think you could start

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regarding
part -time
Correct your spelling
a part-time
show examples
 job
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 your
football
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
.My name is Amandeep
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
show examples
 and I am a
football
Use synonyms
 coach
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Mencher
Use synonyms
club
Capitalize word
Club
show examples
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Brampton
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
. I have read all the requirements of
this
Linking Words
 job through your advertisement in
newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
show examples
. I have been doing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 since 2018 in
Mencher
Correct article usage
the Mencher
show examples
Use synonyms
club
Capitalize word
Club
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
club
Use synonyms
 has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 on second
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest ranking for best
football
Use synonyms
 training
due to
Linking Words
 my efforts. I have trained so many people in
football
Use synonyms
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 I have 8
years
Change noun form
years'
show examples
 experience
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 game . I am ideal
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 passing,shooting and heading. I would like to work part-time as a coach in your
club
Use synonyms
 on weekend evenings from 4pm to 10 pm. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Aman

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The introduction could be clearer by explicitly stating your intent for a part-time job.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as spacing and punctuation, to improve clarity.
task response
Try to elaborate a little more on your skills to add depth to your application.
task response
You clearly stated your experience and current job, which is important for the manager to know.
coherence and cohesion
The closing line effectively expresses your eagerness to hear back, maintaining a positive tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: