IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With the rise of artificial intelligence and automation, many jobs are being replaced by machines. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
technology
Use synonyms
 has significantly enhanced some
technology
Use synonyms
 applications, and machines can help
people
Use synonyms
 replace their jobs.
However
Linking Words
, not all
technology
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 situation can change human
work
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 trend because technologies have
much merit
Fix the agreement mistake
many merits
show examples
 and drawbacks. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 explain both effects.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in recent years, several advanced countries have funded research to replace human jobs with machines, robots, or applications.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 has developed year by year to enhance their countries' prosperity through
technology
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, in recent weeks, China has developed
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 sophisticated
technology
Use synonyms
 called 'Deepseek,' a cutting-edge
technology
Use synonyms
 that can help everyone finish their jobs.
In addition
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 brings significant impacts on human
lives
Use synonyms
, making
work
Use synonyms
 and daily life easier to finish;
thus
Linking Words
, China has seen huge profits come into the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, relying on
technology
Use synonyms
 is a big enemy in our
lives
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to let
technology
Use synonyms
 make their
lives
Use synonyms
 less active; they have followed other negative habits,
such
Linking Words
 as copying actions on TikTok and finishing
work
Use synonyms
 using AI.
Consequently
Linking Words
, relying on
technology
Use synonyms
 has negative effects when we cannot use it wisely. Our brains and bodies get less exercise and we cannot develop our ideas because we tend to finish everything by machine or application. In a nutshell, the rise of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 solve their
work
Use synonyms
 problems.
However
Linking Words
, it has negative effects to rely on them in our
lives
Use synonyms
, leading to less creativity. Simultaneously, both advantages and disadvantages depend on
people
Use synonyms
's ability to use technologies wisely.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement that directly reflects your stance on the advantages and disadvantages of AI and automation in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas into clearer paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, such as statistics or studies related to job displacement due to AI.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The vocabulary used is appropriate and shows a good range, which adds to the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: