IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that soft
skills
Use synonyms
 must make up the majority part of learning in schools
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 book-taught lessons.
While
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 I believe that
such
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skills
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 are
essentials
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essential
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 for students
in interacting
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to interact
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 with their surroundings,
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however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 academics should not be neglected. First of all, the main reason
as to
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apply
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why teaching life
skills
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 must be
proritized
Correct your spelling
prioritized
 is that
because
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apply
show examples
schools are a miniature of society. With the various students coming from different
backgorunds
Correct your spelling
backgrounds
, it is easier for them to understand their roles and responsibilities as social beings
while
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 simultaneously
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
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 it by interacting with other pupils, teachers, and even academic
staffs
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staff
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.
For example
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, students may observe leadership
skill
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skills
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 from their friends when organizing school events and exhibit
it
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them
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 in class assignments.
On the other hand
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, we can not fully reject traditional
academics
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academic
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 culture. It is widely acknowledged that subjects like mathematics and science enable these young scholars to think logically and rationally,
in
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apply
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which not
also
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 does it
stimulate
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stimulates
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 their intelligence but
also
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 supports them
to make
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in making
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a
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apply
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sound decision-making.
This
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 certainly benefits our generation since
this
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 competency is always required in both professional and unprofessional situations. In conclusion, I believe that life
skills
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 must be taught in schools with a balanced portion
as
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of
show examples
 learning traditional academics.

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clarity
Consider rephrasing the introduction for clarity. Instead of saying 'must make up the majority part of learning', use 'should occupy a larger role in education'.
development
In your second body paragraph, clarify the connection between traditional academic subjects and life skills to strengthen your argument.
language
Ensure consistency in your language. For example, instead of 'it is easier for them to understand their roles', you could say 'it helps them understand their social roles'.
grammar
Check for grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement. For example, 'life skills are essential,' instead of 'life skills are essentials'.
content
The essay addresses the prompt adequately by discussing both sides of the argument.
support
Examples given are relevant and relatable, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prioritize
  • Life skills
  • Traditional academics
  • Teamwork
  • Problem-solving
  • Holistic education
  • Real-world challenges
  • Soft skills
  • Intellectual growth
  • Balanced education
  • Comprehensive skill set
  • Core subjects
  • Vocational training
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