IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages to study abroad?

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In the past individuals preferred to
study
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 in their own
country
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while
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,
in
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apply
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these days most
of
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apply
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people
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 travel overseas to
study
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 and it witnessed a dramatic increase. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both cons and pros of studying in foreign countries. On the one hand, there are some benefits of studying abroad. First and foremost, most
of
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people
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 prefer to
study
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 outside of the
country
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 to get a chance at a good job. To illustrate in Oman most jobs require
people
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 who have more experience and a good qualification and choose
people
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 who are talented more in different fields.
Moreover
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, most
people
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study
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 abroad because they
want
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want to
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 learn about other cultures and to get new knowledge from different countries because the curriculum is different from their
country
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.
For example
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, my sister studied in America and now she has rich knowledge of how to deal with problems and analytical problems.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will lead a good and talented person to grow the economy of countries.
On the other hand
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, there are obvious cons of studying in a foreign
country
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,
Firstly
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, it is quite expensive to
study
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 in a broad than in their
country
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 because they have to pay money for university and buy books
moreover
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 they have to rent an apartment
however
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, if they are in their
country
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 everything is free regarding the fees of universities and not pay for books. Another disadvantage is homesickness most
the
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apply
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students miss their families become more stressed and do not feel comfortable because they need some support and someone to provide
themwith
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them with
agood
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a good
good
 advice.
Hence
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,
this
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 will lead to a bad impact on
person's
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a person's
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 mood and health, In conclusion, getting the best job and knowing more information and culture are the pros of studying abroad
whereas
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, homesickness and the expensive fees of university are the drawbacks of studying abroad. Parents should not force
to
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apply
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their children
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while
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apply
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they choose their dreams.

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What works well

2
task achievement

You have clearly identified both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, which shows good understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your personal example about your sister studying in America adds a relatable touch to the essay, enhancing reader engagement.

Improvement Suggestions

3
coherence and cohesion

Consider improving the clarity of your main ideas by using more precise language and structure. For instance, refine the phrasing in your introduction to set a clear direction for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that each main point is supported with more specific examples. For instance, elaborate further on how studying abroad can lead to better job opportunities with concrete data or studies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exposure
  • Global awareness
  • Renowned institutions
  • Specialized courses
  • Personal growth
  • Independence
  • Resilience
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Employment prospects
  • International experience
  • Language skills
  • Global network
  • Networking
  • Higher tuition fees
  • Living expenses
  • Travel costs
  • Culture shock
  • Homesickness
  • Academic performance
  • Visa regulations
  • Legal compliance
  • Language proficiency
  • Learning experience
  • Degree recognition
  • Employment challenges
What to do next:
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