IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart provides key information about
Linking Words
further
Correct article usage
the further
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 of
both
Use synonyms
 genders in Britain in three different periods. The chart
also
Linking Words
 compares
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Study methods whether it is full-time or part-time.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the chart that
both
Use synonyms
 sexes prefer part-time
education
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to full-time
education
Use synonyms
 being less favoured.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 1970
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
part-time
Correct article usage
the part-time
show examples
method
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 lower in number than men at that time.
whereas
Linking Words
, full-time
education
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 always been within
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 preference
rate
Use synonyms
 from
both
Use synonyms
 genders from 1970 to 1990.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, females since 1970
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 involved
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
, about 700
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 studying in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
part-time
education
Use synonyms
, and only loo used full-time study
method
Use synonyms
. The
rate
Use synonyms
 slightly increased in 1980 th in
both
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 until 1990
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 there was
dramatical
Add an article
a dramatical
the dramatical
show examples
 increase in part-time
education
Use synonyms
 ,rising to more than 1000. For
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
, in 1970 they
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 part-time
education
Use synonyms
 as well. The
rate
Use synonyms
 remained steady until 1990
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 of males favouring
full-time
Correct article usage
the full-time
show examples
 Study
method
Use synonyms
 increased to 300.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, both, method, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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