Topic 4: Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

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The importance of some
individual's
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individuals
individual
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have
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having
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an
Correct article usage
the
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abilty
Correct your spelling
ability
to explore their path
of
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to
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success during their childhood and consistency and
clear
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a clear
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vision
provides
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provide
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them
fulfilment
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with fulfilment
show examples
, which was always been debatable and has now become more
controverisla
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controversial
with many
people
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claiming that it is beneficial. In my
opinipn
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opinion
, realistic
goal
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goals
show examples
and self
accessment
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assessment
appears
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appear
show examples
to be more rational to adopt satisfying working progress.
This
Linking Words
essay will elaborate
positieve
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positive
effects of
this
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trend and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, I completely welcome
this
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statement and will explain
reasons
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the reasons
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behind
this
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, numerous
people
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are born with
extra ordinary
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extraordinary
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talent, daily exercise and commitment,
lead
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which lead
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to a
money making
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money-making
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profession. For
instence
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instance
,
artist
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artists
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such
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as, actors,
musician
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musicians
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and dancers
performing
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perform
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specific artform from their childhood, a
long term
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long-term
show examples
experience fosters
fruitfull
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fruitful
results in future. Another striking aspect in
this
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regard is that
,
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apply
show examples
guridance
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guidance
and teachers channelise their
peers
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peer's
peers'
show examples
attention to a specific path and provide needed
guidence
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guidance
and
resorces
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resources
to achieve success, proper instruction and dedication
provides
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provide
show examples
effortless benefits and work fulfilment. On second thought,
couple
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a couple
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of reasons drive me to consider
opposite
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the opposite
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notion as well, work pleasure is
individuals
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an individuals
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choice,
people
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should set realistic
goal
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goals
show examples
to gain
progressive
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a progressive
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career,
favorable
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a favorable
show examples
work routine,
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a positieve
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positieve
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positive
job atmosphere and
simple
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a simple
show examples
living
standad
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standard
facilitate job happiness and stable income, halping nature from colleagues and team leader alleviates peace of mind and supresses mental health challanges. To
recapitualte
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recapitulate
,
according to
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the arguments and aforementioned, I
reaches
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reach
show examples
the conclusion that the benefits of
people
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explore
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exploring
show examples
satisfying and
succesfull
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successful
profession
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professional
show examples
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
earlier in their lives are indeed
to
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too
show examples
great.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, other effective notions to achieve fulfillment and money
making
Verb problem
money-making
show examples
career should not be overlooked either.

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grammar
Improve grammar and spelling mistakes (e.g., 'individal's' to 'individuals', 'opinion' to 'opinion'), and ensure correct usage of vocabulary (e.g., 'positive' instead of 'positieve').
task achievement
Try to clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay.
coherence
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
content
You have provided some good examples of professions that benefit from early exploration, such as artists and athletes.
argumentation
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing your ability to consider different viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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