IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IELTS Write a letter to the headmaster of your son's school informing him about a special family celebration due to which he won't be able to attend school on that day. You should: describe what the special family celebration is explain why your son's presence at the celebration is important explain how your son will make up for the lost lessons

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Dear Mr. Harry Tor, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to tell you about my son's
metter
Correct your spelling
matter
. I kindly request a day off from school for my son because next week more precisely on January 30th my sister will attend her graduation ceremony.
This
Linking Words
 event
are very
Verb problem
was
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 essential, meaningful and memorable for my sister owing
this
Linking Words
 ceremony just once timelife.
This
Linking Words
 moment will be used to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time together and capture a lot of memories and pictures
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
photograph
Fix the agreement mistake
photographs
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. I hope you will allow my son to
follow
Verb problem
attend
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this
Linking Words
 ceremony. I would be grateful if you realize
this
Linking Words
 request. I will be responsible
to
Change preposition
for
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 reminding my child to
works
Wrong verb form
work
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his
Change preposition
on his
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 homework and
promises
Correct subject-verb agreement
promise
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 to work
the
Change preposition
on the
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 exercise and send
before
Correct pronoun usage
it before
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deadline
Add an article
the deadline
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. He will consult
to
Change preposition
apply
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his tutor as well and request additional
assigment
Correct your spelling
assignment
assignments
 related
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 lost materials. I appreciate your consideration and thank you
your
Change preposition
for your
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 attention
for
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 matter. Yours sincerely, Akbar Surya Basmallah

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task response
The letter should have a clear opening statement announcing the reason for writing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to improve the flow between sentences. For example, use 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs; one discussing the importance of the event and the other on family togetherness.
task response
Your letter conveys the essential information needed, such as the reason for absence and how your son will catch up with lessons.
task response
The tone of your letter is polite and respectful, which suits the context well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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