IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that books, movies and the internet enable them to learn as much about culture as travel does;
therefore
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, they do not have to go on a trip to other destinations for
such
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 a purpose.
However
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, in my opinion,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 cannot be replaced completely by these approaches as a real trip to a particular destination provides a comprehensive understanding of diverse
cultures
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. On the one hand, thanks to the development of technology and globalization, you can easily get access to
information
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 about places without going there through ebooks or
videos
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 on social networks. These documentaries, containing vivid pictures, clear descriptions and
videos
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, provide
people
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 with a wide range of
information
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 about different
cultures
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such
Linking Words
 as how they organise weddings or greet foreigners. Documentary movies are
also
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 a great source that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 the audience to have a deep insight into locals’ beliefs, traditions and daily lives.
For example
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,
Discovery
Correct article usage
the Discovery
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channel
Capitalize word
Channel
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 often broadcasts documentaries about
people
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 travelling to other countries to experience their culture, helping audiences to acquire more diverse
information
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through
Change preposition
from
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 different angles.
Additionally
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, books and researches created by professors or experts contain extensive and reliable
information
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 about other
cultures
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 that can be exploited in order to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their desires to know and experience.
On the other hand
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,
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 to other destinations enables individuals to form a deep connection with local culture and inhabitants. By interacting with local
people
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 and participating in cultural activities
such
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 as trying unique local cuisine,
engaging
Correct word choice
and engaging
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 in local arts and architecture,
travelers
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travellers
show examples
 can gain a more authentic understanding that can not be given by other means.
For instance
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, watching
videos
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 about
Water
Correct article usage
the Water
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 splashing festival in Thailand is informative, but participating
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this
Change preposition
in this
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 event with local inhabitants will give you
more
Add an article
a more
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 hands-on and realistic experience.
Moreover
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, traveling to other destinations
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 challenge prejudice and stereotypes about different
cultures
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. Exposure to diverse ways of life stimulates individuals to reevaluate their first beliefs and assumptions, fostering open-mindedness and a more accurate understanding of cultural differences. Take,
for example
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, many
westerners
Capitalize word
Westerners
show examples
 may read and consult outdated documentaries,
this
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 would lead to misconceptions about Middle Eastern or African
cultures
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, which can be dispelled through direct exposure and interaction with local
people
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. In conclusion,
while
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 reading books and watching
videos
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 provide
people
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 with
information
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 about other
cultures
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,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 acts as an irreplaceable method to
arquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
require
 a deep understanding and comprehensive view about these regions. In my opinion,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 gives
people
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 invaluable firsthand experiences
as well as
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 erases preconceived notions.

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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clearer stance in your introduction, maybe by explicitly stating 'I agree' or 'I disagree'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects well with supporting details to enhance the logical flow.
Task Achievement
Consider diversifying the examples used in your essay to provide a wider range of perspectives and support to your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs that develop your argument well.
Task Achievement
You provided thoughtful insights into both sides of the argument, which enhances the depth of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural immersion
  • digital access
  • firsthand experience
  • nuanced understanding
  • cultural subtleties
  • cost-effective learning
  • real-time interaction
  • personal growth
  • sensory engagement
  • global interconnectedness
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