IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion....

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in
Change preposition
During
show examples
 the Fourth
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Dustrial
Correct your spelling
Industrial
 Revolution ,
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
say
Wrong verb form
said
show examples
 that advertising
encourages
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to buy things they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not need,
while
Linking Words
 others
told
Verb problem
said
show examples
 that
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 are important sources of information about new
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. Two aforementioned
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 discussed
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 in the following
pharaphase
Correct your spelling
paraphrase
paraphrased
 before presenting in the conclusion. on the one hand,it is often argued that advertising encourages
people
Use synonyms
 to buy items they do not unnecessary.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add a verb
people are
people were
show examples
 usually interested in newer
products
Use synonyms
 so devices do not need to be thrown away and not noticed.
From there
Change preposition
There
show examples
, Since
then
Linking Words
, the goods of the merchant inventory so they want to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem they need to reduce the price of those devices and at the same time exaggerate
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 use
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it necessary for
customers
Use synonyms
 to feel it needed
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am of the opinion that introduce are essential
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
 of
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 about new
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 helps
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
access new
products
Use synonyms
 in terms of use and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 at once introduce
image
Fix the agreement mistake
images
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the client
a client
show examples
client
Fix the agreement mistake
clients
show examples
. Placing ads in places for
customers
Use synonyms
 to access new
products
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a hot potato because
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 them feel it is necessary and buy for their lives
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
very well. In short, advertising is of great value for companies or merchants in launching new
products
Use synonyms
. Since
then
Linking Words
,
customers
Use synonyms
 have
also
Linking Words
 been strongly attracted by new
products
Use synonyms
 and buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 without knowing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 true use. In my opinion,
customers
Use synonyms
 need to be aware of which one is needed and which one

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the points you want to make, and keep your ideas organized with clear topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and explanations to support your arguments, which will help clarify your points and strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammar and sentence structure for better clarity and professionalism in your writing. This will improve your overall communication.
task achievement
You have attempted to discuss both views, which is important for this type of essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: